OCKHAM'S RAZOR Simplest explanation always correct

Aku dan dia,dia,dia........dan dia

2011-07-04T23:41:00.001-07:00

Hari ni ubah bahasa sebab rasanya dah lama tak menulis dalam bahasa malaysia. Sebenarnya ini cubaan kali ke berapa entah untuk aku menulis dalam bahasa kebangsaan ini. Harap kali ini berjaya he he. Hmmm tapi apa nak tulis ek, (sambil menggaru kepala yang gatal merenyam, eh ada kutu ke).Aku ingat lagi masa sekolah rendah dulu, kutu penuh di kepala. Bagaimana memutihnya bunga lalang begitu putihnya telur kutu yang lekat dirambut . Siksa betul bila kepala berkutu ni, org tak nak dekat, dulu aku duduk di kawasan setinggan dan mandi air perigi mungkin disebabkan persekitaran yg sihat itu memanggil2 kutu2 untuk singgah lalu menetap dan bermustautin di kepala muda ku waktu itu. Masih jelas dlm ingatan jururawat datang ke sekolah aku dan menyapu ubat kutu dengan berus cat. Sewenang2nya kepala kami diberus seperti mengecat dinding lagaknya. Aduh simpati aku pada diri sendiri. Tetapi bila aku berpindah ke kawasan perumahan taman sri skudai, kutu2 yg membiak dengan jayanya seakan merajuk lalu membungkus kain baju meninggalkan kepala ku yg muda dan berambut pendek. Akhirnya aku bebas dari tambahan beberapa gram dari kutu2 yang menghuni kepala aku ni. Al kisah dizaman kanak2 aku dengan sahabat2 beribu yang begitu dekat dengan aku di atas batu jemala aku. Eh sejak bila lah pulak aku bersahabat dengan parasit ni. Pembetulan perkataan sahabat perlu ditukar dengan perkataan parasit pemunah bangsa dan agama he he. Asalamualaikum

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Wish you were here

2011-06-19T23:45:00.001-07:00

being able to update my blog from anywhere should make me write more often, but it is not what had happened. still i don't know what to write, many things had happened and i don't know where to start. hish this small pad touch screen does not help either it doesn't want to cooperate with my huge fingers he he.

People said that time will heal every pain, they were wrong. These few days every single things that happened around me remind me of my late husband, I listen to his favourite song many times, listening and rewinding. How I wish you were here. We are just two lost soul swimming in a fish bowl, year after year, running over the same old ground, how we found same old fear. Wish you were here.

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something

2011-06-07T15:31:00.001-07:00

I am in johor now. Everytime I went balik kg 1 of my agenda would be meeting old schoolmate. Friends on your school days sometimes can really be a very good friends. Oh my old handphone is spoilt because aisyah take for a swim in the pangkor beach. We went to pangkor with my late husband`s family. I am very close to them especially my sil she is a very nice lady. She really is a sister that I never had. Coming from a very small family, I really enjoyed being with my late husband`s family. Oh back to my spoilt handphone, I really felt.it was a blessing in disguised because now I bought a new one yuhooooo. I bought an android and now I van update my blog from anywhere wuhooooo. So hopefully I can brush up again my writing skill he he. Well it is just merely playing around with words but words do make people happy, sad or.even angry and it is true when people said that tounge are mightier (are there such word) than swords. Kay better stop now for my subuh prayer.

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For the rest of my life

2011-05-10T01:49:00.000-07:00

Yesterday while cycling I listened to the songs in my handphone and there is one song by Maher Zain For the rest of my life

And there's a couple words I want to say
For the rest of my life
I'll be with you
I'll stay by your side honest and true
Till the end of my time
I'll be loving you. loving you
For the rest of my life
Thru days and night
I'll thank Allah for open my eyes
Now and forever I I'll be there for you
I know that deep in my heart
I feel so blessed when I think of you
And I ask Allah to bless all we do
You're my wife and my friend and my strength
And I pray we're together eternally
Now I find myself so strong
Everything changed when you came along

than it hits me these were the words my late husband use to say to me. he always say that I am a blessing for him. Thank god I stayed with him and supporting him until his last breath, Alhamdulillah. He use to call me his fourth baby the biggest baby in the house he he. I still remember on his last few hour his looks as if his getting better, he even teased me in front of his family he love to do that, may be because he love to see me smile in embarrassment. I am glad I was with him for the rest of his life, yes I was with him for the rest of his life. Alhamdulillah.

something

2011-05-05T23:41:00.000-07:00

I've been staring at my lap top, typing and deleting. What should I write, so many things had happened and I don't know where to start. Should I write about work, or should I write about food instead. Hmm suddenly am feeling hungry he he, but I just ate Oh!. I've managed to lost 25 kg in 8 months. I control what I eat and exercise regularly. There is no short cut in losing weight I would say, because I've tried taking diet pills, diet drinks all fail, this is due to my failure to discipline myself . Eh but controlling intake of food and exercise need more discipline you might ask. Yes it does but somehow I managed to do it regularly and maintain it for 8 months. A big cheer for me yeaaaaaah. I do feel happier, and I guest I look younger ( he he you can disagree with me its a free world) ok, ok I feel younger, satisfied. when I weight 105 kg, yes I use to be very heavy, Obese. I always felt very tired, not active always sleepy. Now I am more energise, still heavy I am 80 kg now but lighter then before. My aim is to lose another 5 kg. I can do it, I know I can, I know I can tooot tooooot.

padang bulan

2011-05-03T20:02:00.000-07:00

No matter how I want to sit down and write I will always find a reason not to, arghhhhh. Today I am determine, at least write something, anything, I have to start writing again. So being guilty for abandoning my passion I want to write about a book I've read, written by Andrea Hirata. I love his writing, love the way he plays around with words, how I wish I could write like him.

Andrea Hirata author of Lasykar pelangi had come with a new book entitled Padang bulan and cinta dalam gelas. He still maintain his cheekiness ( is there such word he he) in writing. A story about a women against all odds surviving after the death of her father. "Ajar aku benda yang paling sukar dan aku akan belajar"( teach me the hardest lesson and I will learn) is her moto in life. Ops! my class had started have to go.

Matter of the heart

2011-01-14T00:36:00.000-08:00

Its been quite a long time since I last write in this blog. I do miss writing though, but just can't find the time to sit quietly and write. My house is no longer empty, My sister and her 2 kids and my mom are staying with me now ( guess i've told you about this he he, well I tend to repeat myself, may be it's a teacher thing). I also had the chance to visit Vietnam ( baby steps, baby steps....., like my late husband use to say slowly,slowly kill the monkey. I still don't have any idea why monkey not chicken or fish). My friends planned to go to Perth but I just cannot say anything about this because I have to ask my purse, hu hu sob, sob hope she says ok he he.

The kids are going strong Amir will be sitting for UPSR this year hope he can get good result, Aisyah is 14 now and not very easy to deal with. Omar still mama's boy he he cling to me like baby monkey cling to his mom... ooo I guess that is why my late husband say slowly,slowly kill the monkey he he. I am still , missing him. Still wish I could listen to his laughter, I even miss his cough ( he do cough a lot due to his illness).

As for myself I am also still going strong, no longer the library teacher, phew what a relieved, such a big reponsibility for my to handle. I am a class teacher, Police Cadet Cor teacher, Physics coordinator, physics lab coordinator, Sports clup teacher, and a few more I don't remember and don't want to remember because it would only remind me of the things I have not done.

Met old friends and some make some new friends and one of them is really close to my heart. However I don't think I can be with him.....

I hope 2011 bring more new experience. I welcome 2011 with an open arm and open heart. Eh am I too late, I guess it's better late then never.

Meeting old friends

2010-08-22T18:50:00.000-07:00

I hope this old blog of mine still have readers for I've abandoned it like an abandon ship. Sunk and forgotten. I have no excuse for that, I just cannot say I don't have time since I have time to open my facebook. I cannot say blogging is no longer a passion of mine because blogging still gives me satisfaction because here is the place for me to write out my mind. May be I am out of ideas, because writing is not an easy thing to do ( hope some of you would agree with me, please!!!!). I admit I am guilty. I spend more time facebooking for one reason, I found many of my old friends, friends I thought would be impossible to find. Not only meeting them in cyber space some I meet in person and some we plan to meet outside the cyber space. Yuhoooo I am happy.

As we grow older, meeting old friends gives a big impact in our life's. Somehow meeting old friends make us feel younger even if it does not make us look younger(oh how I wish it does, because lately I've been meeting friends in my teens it would be nice to look like teenagers again). Well, sometimes looks had no meaning. Some might differ with me, some might think looks is important because it is the first thing people would notice about us, some might say looks is the window to our soul. Ops! my topic today is not about looks, it is about old friends, thousand apology. Jolly good sir, where was I, Oh! yes old friends make our heart sing old songs, it really gives us a feeling that is hard to describe. Funny thing was, looking at my friends picture, my first impression was, oh they look old, but looking at myself it really occur to me that I am also as old as them. How can I forget that I am old, may be all this while I am in a denial stage, denying that I am old. well I don't mind looking old, it only shows that I am wiser ( is it really the situation, ha ha). So to my old friends nice meeting you again, and looking forward to meet those whom I haven't met. Adios amigos

Enjoying life

2010-06-28T06:47:00.000-07:00

I felt that after a very long time, I started to enjoy life again. I cycle everyday and on my kapcai vrooming here and there. I notice many of my friends found new passions, some love to run up to the point they entered running competition some enjoyed entering treasure hunts and some enjoyed travelling to many new places. As for me I really love to cycle but I don't think I would enter any cycling competitions he he. I just cannot cycle fast enough. And my dream is to travel around the world and travel around Malaysia on a bike, alone or with friends I just would not care.

My whole life I never been out of Malaysia except for once when I was 9 my mother took me to Singapore. I really hope one day I could travel out of Malaysia. My first destination would be Mecca performing umrah or haj. After that maybe I would start with Malaysia's neighbouring countries like Singapore and Indonesia. So how do I make my dream a reality. Any suggestions my friends

Hari guru 2010

2010-05-18T01:01:00.000-07:00

Hari ini rasanya aku nak ubah bahasa kepada Bahasa Malaysia dan mungkin lepas ni akan diselang selikan bahasa dengan bahasa Inggeris. sekurang-kurangnya dapat aku memantapkan penggunaan kedua-dua bahasa. Selepas membaca karya andrea hirata penulis dari indonesia itu aku menjadi teringin untuk menulis dalam Bahasa Malaysia. jadi ini akan menjadi permulaannya.

Hari guru tahun ini bertemakan hitam, putih dan emas, kombinasi yang sangat pelik. Kenapa aku katakan pelik, kerana kami bukan menyambutnya di hotel tetapi di tengah tapak perhimpunan yang amatlah panasnya kalau panas dan amatlah basahnya kalau hujan. warna emas akan memantul-mantulkan sinaran matahari pada hari yang panas. Ish tak sanggup aku mengalami situasi itu. Aku dan kawan-kawan telah cuba sedaya upaya untuk mencari baju yang memenuhi tema itu, hmm bukan satu tugas yang mudah untuk mencari baju yang berwarna emas di Malaysia ni. Akhirnya kami berpakat untuk memakai baju yang berwarna coklat dengan manik-manik emas. pada mulanya kami bertiga berpakat untuk memakai baju yang sama tetapi pada saat akhir salah seorang rakan aku telah belot.

Pada hari kejadian cuaca sangat elok tiada panas dan tiada hujan, mungkin allah tahu apa yang bergelodak dibenak kami. Tetapi aku merasakan sambutan pada tahun ini agak kurang meriah. entahlah mungkin itu cuma perasaan aku sahaja. Dengan ini aku persembahkan gambar yang sempat dicuri pada sambutan hari guru tahun ini.Inilah masanya untuk para pelajar membuli cikgu-cikgu mereka. bermacam permainan yang agak tidak munasabah mereka rancang untuk kami
Itulah dia siapa yang suruh datang tak bawak kerusi sendiri. Pn Yusnita dan Pn Faizatul bermain kerusi bermuzik.
siapalah seorang guru tanpa anak muridnya. bersama dengan pelajar-pelajr 5S1
senyuman ini mungkin khas untuk seseorang, mungkin juga siapa tahukan.

jangan cepat sangat membuat andaian, ini gambar bersama dengan adik kesayangan kami semua
Ini lah rakan-rakan seperjuangan yang sama sekepala.
bersama salah seorang pengawas, Salwah Rosdi
Kami semua hantu kamera, pantang ada peluang ntah kamera siapa masuk je.Tapi kenapa yang dua lagi tu duduk bersembunyi di belakang aku ye. saje nak nampak kuruslah tu. (Mek Zu, Hasiah tak de maknanya korang duduk sembunyi belakang aku, ini namanya tak dapat terima kenyataan kalau badan tu dah makin naik)
Sedondon sama sepasang, inlah dia three stooges yang kehilangan seorang ahli yang belot
Kawan-kawan semeja. Pn Hasiah Ramli (dialah yang belot he he sorry ye hasiah terkutuk engkau), Pn Norizan, Pn Zunaidah, Pn Sharifah madinah, Pn Zu Aniza (inilah penerima guru paling anggun seisi pagi) dan yang duduk tu siapa lagi kalau bukan akuleh tu. sekian saja persembahan untuk hari ini. Sampai jumpa lagi. Asalamualaikum

Another lost

2010-04-06T02:11:00.000-07:00

My brother in law had passed away last Saturday morning after suffering from colon cancer for more than a year. He spent his last few months bedridden.My sister was with him till his last breath. Her children were younger than my mine when my husband died. Her daughter Nana is 8, same age as Omar and her son Danish is 4. Danish is still very young to understand what had happened, but he did ask my sister late in the evening " mama, where is papa". Now our small family had become even smaller with only 3 widower and 5 orphans.

Sometimes it is hard not to feel inferior to others when all you had to give are bad news. I did tell a friend of mine that she had changed, I had no other intention just to tell her how I felt. I know I upset her and I am sorry for what I did, but sometimes when you went through so many hardship in life you tend to be unpleasant to other people especially to your friends. sometimes you become jealous of what they had, I am happy for my friends when they are happy and have a good life, I do but sometimes deep inside me I felt lonely, envy and I felt that my friends don't deserved to be with me for I will only bring bad news and dark cloud to them. So for those whose heart I hurt please forgive me, I never intended to make you unhappy when you wanted to share your happiness with me, it's just me.

Series of unfortunate events

2010-02-28T01:50:00.000-08:00

This loyal car of mine has a series of unfortunate events these few weeks. Firstly it was hit by a car. When people say you cannot stop from things to happened they sure are not joking. Because on that day and on that particular time a lady who had stopped driving for 7 year decided to drive her car and also at that particular time I took my sons to have a hair cut ( I've been postponing this for a few weeks). So when our car went face-to face the lady's car decided to touch my car door. What can I do but just look at her looking at me but did not stop her car. I keep my coolness I did not shout at her or use forbidden words. Waited for her to reverse her car, but her car just won't budge.

What the ****(please fill in with the word that you feel is suitable) is she doing. so I got out from my car( How do I manage to get out from my car if she hit my car door which is obviously on the driver's side you might think, It is not easy I have to say) , she also came out from her car and slowly she said, Kak, can you move my car. What! now I had to move her car, actually I pity her, her face is so pale and I saw her children are in the car and also her mother is in it too. I get in her car and reverse it. To make a long story short, she promise to pay for my car damages which had been repaired except for the paint job because I need to use the car.

A week later another unfortunate event happened which involve my car and an Ice lorry. However this story have to wait because I need to get my children to take a bath now. So see you soon.

To potong or not to potong

2010-02-17T16:48:00.000-08:00

Yes another re run on broadband. I really had it with mobile broadband. To potong is not my choice because I am already terpotong. As I told you before, my case with Telekom Malaysia, where they refuse to stand another telephone pole near my house since there are only two houses left without fixed line connection. So, I had to use mobile broadband for my internet connection. My first experience with mobile broadband is with Digi, I guess the yellow ghost don't work with Internet because the speed is so slow, I can sleep while downloading and after I woke up my computer still hadn't finish. Then I turn to Celcom, this time it is a bit better, still I wasn't satisfied with the speed, very slow, but this time when I woke up my computer had finish downloading.

May be the known telecommunication co had problem in handling demands, that was what I thought when I change to U mobile. I was their first few customer I presumed because every time I mentioned that I am using U mobile people would ask me, "what is that?". Some thought it is a product from Digi. Excuse me after my experience with Digi, do you really think I would use their product again. U mobile seldom gave me any problem, I used it for two years and I really got a good bargain, because I only need to paid RM 50 to get the USB modem and RM 78 monthly, nothing else. I also am satisfied with the speed for I can watch U tube now even though I still need to wait a few minutes for it to be fully downloaded. However, there is one big glitch, the warranty for the USB modem is only one year. and at exactly the 2nd year my modem is broken. So I decided to change to P1Wimax. So I Potong even though I am already terpotong. Now 2 computer can connect to the net simultaneously ( this I like because less fighting in the house on whose turn to go online). However even though now I am paying more then U mobile which is RM 99 per month, I am really not satisfied with the service because now the speed is slow and also the connection is always interrupted. Arrghh, I had 2 years contract with them so I have to be very patient for this 2 years before I can change to another broadband provider.

gossips

2010-02-09T17:52:00.001-08:00

Have you ever gossip about your teachers or lecturers, or should I rephrase it to, who haven't gossip about their teachers or lecturer. I caught my girls gossiping about their teachers in facebook. hmm I guess they forgot they are my fb friends. So, to my girls be careful what you write in your fb, for I might be lurking like a snake in a bush. I was in their shoe once, so I understand but a reminder to my girls teachers are human to, they have feelings. It is okay to gossip about teachers but don't get too carried away. I remember my teachers, some really gave a big impact, some just filling in a chapter in my life. My dream is to be a teacher who can make a change in my students life, however it is not an easy things to do. I give my all when I am teaching, somehow it seems not enough.

office politics

2010-01-19T01:14:00.001-08:00

As you grow older life seems more complicated. The person you thought is your friend might be your biggest enemy. It is even harder to trust people, they might stab you at the back anytime. I remember as a student, friends are the person whom I will turn to, when I had a problem.

I have no problem being friends with anyone, but never to close, not like when I was studying. When you befriend with everybody, it is confusing because people seems to want you to be on their side. I am the quiet type of person, I love to listen rather than talk and I guest it is the reason why I can get along with anybody. When people said bad things about other people I just let it passed through me. I also had hearing problem, I can't hear well( guess it come with age and listening to walkman during my younger day has it's effect) , in this case it is a blessing because when people talk about others I just nod but the truth is I just cannot hear clearly what they are talking about.

Office politics is a very dangerous thing, it can make your working life miserable and even worse it can jeopardise your job. Some people can be so cruel and very selfish, and most dangerously when these type of people started to gang up. They can say nice things to you but 2o minutes later they trash you out behind your back.

Have you ever met such people?

facebook anyone

2010-01-11T17:12:00.000-08:00

I've joined facebook, so when the school session started my students would say " hah teacher you have facebook ye" many of them had became my friends, many of them were my ex-students whom i have lost contact with. It is amazing how small the world had became, no matter where you are, you can still be in contact with anybody you want and sometimes it feel as if they are next door.

Even though facebook amaze me, somehow for some reasons I seems to not be able to write there. I don't know what to write there. Some people write almost everything they did everyday, some just want to show off their loved ones, some love to send hugs and kisses like zanas ( thanks for all the hugs and kisses, I 'm still waiting for the scrapbook though). As for me it seems to be nothing interesting to share even when if there is, I would prefer to blog about it.

One of the reasons why I don't like to write updates on facebook is because all my friend are there, my students are there, my ex school mate are there my ex collage mate are they my blogger friends are there hmm everybody are there so I felt a bit inferior may be because my life is not as interesting and as successful as them. I use to be a shy and timid person and still is I guess. I am more comfortable with my blogger friends.

So what about you , what do feel about facebook.

You want me to do what?

2009-10-29T19:23:00.000-07:00

Hmm, a friend of mine ask me to be her spy. She ask me to spy on her husband. Should I do it, should I not. She came to me asking if I want to have a free meal at a restaurant, which I immediately agree( well I think that is what most of us would do, wouldn't you). But it turn out, she is paying me to spy her husband there.
What! Spy on your husband. What if he saw me, you know your husband knows me don't you.

Alah Rita, just act casual lah. By the way you must take their picture use your handphone lah.

Weh! are you carzy how am I going take the picture, I cannot simply take picture of him and his friend. Or may be I would just go to them and politely ask their permission to snap their picture. Can I do that he, he.

Rita, pleaselah and one more think don't tell anybody. (Alamak I already told you, I think this does not count as you don't know her kan)

You really are crazy, don't you trust your husband, apparently not.

Rita promise me you are not going to tell anybody.

Oklah but I have to think it over. i'll tell you later OK.

That' better, Ok Rita

So should I do it?

My sister

2009-10-22T00:38:00.000-07:00

This year is not a good year for my sister. As I had wrote earlier this year, her husband is diagnosed with colon cancer and it had already reached stage 4. Now her husband had been in and out of the hospital. My sister now had a job alhamdullilah. Whenever her husband is in the hospital she will sleep at the hospital and go to work form hospital. Really I pity her, not only because of her husband's condition but also with her financial situation. Her debt now is to big to handle. The banks kept calling her.
Her daughter , Nana is 7 , same age as Omar however she looks more matured than her age. From the way she talk, you can sense that she is worried about her father, thinking of her future. She is overprotective of her little brother. I also noticed that she is much more thinner than before, when asked why she don't want to eat, she would say that she just don't feel like eating. Her exam result also deteriorate, she would say that she is worried of her father.
As for my children they did not saw they father suffers, but my niece and nephew see their father's condition deteriorating. My BIL is very weak and thin and now in the hospital.
Now all we can do is to pray things will be better for them. Sometimes I feel helpless for I cannot do anything for them. I once tought of withdrawing my late husband's money to pay for my sister's debt but my friends advice me not to do it because that money is not mine, instead it is my children's and it is a big sin if I do that. So I did not proceed with it.

Don't you want to remarry

2009-09-03T19:56:00.000-07:00

Don't you want to be married again, it seems that, it is the question I get a lot lately. Just last week the same question came out from my mother's mouth, really caught me by surprise. Frankly I like the way life is going right now. Even though it is not easy to raise 3 growing children on my own, I found life is simpler this way.

Furthermore If I married again will my new partner love my children and will we be happy. My MIL also post the same question not to me but to my mother. It seems that she is interested to partner me with my brother in law who is coincidentally still single. To me, it is a bit weird and also at the same time funny. Luckily she did not ask me personally because I would not know how to answer her. Somehow I can still feel the present of my late husband so i guess I am still not ready. Yes that would be my answer.

Imperfection

2009-06-15T04:16:00.001-07:00

I cried every time I watch this ad. Really it is the small things that I remember, the little imperfection that make him perfect for me.

Andai ku tahu

2009-05-29T20:50:00.001-07:00

Aku takut akan semua dosa-dosa ku,
aku takut dosa yang terus membayangi ku

mumbling

2009-05-25T18:17:00.000-07:00

I broke my own promise to my self, because I promise my self to write more posting in my blog but I broke it. What can I do, I am only human or can we say to err is human as an excuse to break promises, to come late or to make mistakes. When are we going to start and put the blame on ourselves. Being human is not an excuse to make mistakes because if it is, what about animals are there not allowed to make mistake or do they make mistake, hmmm now I wonder do animal make mistake, What do you think? But to think of it we have the ability to think better, we have the ability to feel emitions, then why can't we take responsibilty of our own mistake why do we say it is normal for human to make mistake. Sorry to write nonsense well what can I say I am only human.

Finally

2009-05-12T07:38:00.000-07:00

Yeah!!! Finally I submitted my project paper for my masters today. Yoooooo hooooo. Alhamdullilah I nearly gave up but with the encouragement from my family and my husband's family finally I succeeded. Hopefully I can continue blogging after this, I felt free, felt like jumping around.

Today on my way back from Tanjung Malim I saw someone really resemble my late husband, I nearly hit a BMW trying to take a glance at him. Really missed him, somehow felt a part of me missing.

So hope to see you all soon.

Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

2009-03-24T23:04:00.001-07:00

The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term.

The answer by one student was so 'profound' that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well :

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle 's Law
(gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely
assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today.

Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their
religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one
of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.
With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle 's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will
increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in
Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, 'It will be a cold day in Hell before I
sleep with you,' and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over!
The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct..... .leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting 'Oh my God.'

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+.

Are you laughing ??????

Another sad news

2009-03-16T20:34:00.000-07:00

Last week my BIL went for an operation due to blocked intestine. So my sister took care of him while I stay with the kids at home. I was supposed to brought the kids after the operation. around three my sister called crying, I automatically suspect something really bad had happened and the news was the operation went well but my BIL is diagnosed with colon cancer stage 4 and the doctor predict with chemotherapy he can live for one or two years.

I rushed to the hospital, my sister was crying and when she saw me she ask why did god test us like this, first my father then my husband and now her husband. I have no answer to that, but I told her that we should not question god's will. We should be thankful that the operation went well and her husband is still alive. The doctor can predict but everything is Allah's will. When I got home her children keep asking for her and their father. My niece is now in standard one same like Omar and her brother is only 4 years old, still to young to understand what is happening.

I hope my sister can be strong for her husband and children, unlike me she is pampered during childhood. Now I am trying my best to find her a job because she need to be able to support herself and her children if the worse happen. Her husband is going to need constant attention and support. One big problem now is her husband refuse to undergo chemotherapy.

I am a bad mother

2009-03-06T08:53:00.001-08:00

How do you feel if someone says that your fail to raise your own kids and that someone is your own mother. I love my mother, i do, but sometimes things that she said just make me want to arggggh. I don't know whether I should continue writing or must I stop. I know it is not good to say bad things of your own mother but comparing me with her, with how she raise us and how badly i did with my own kids is not fair. May be I am not as strict as she use to be with me, may be I have to keep repeating to my children, may be sometimes they did not do the things I asked them to do promptly, but does that make me a bad mother. I am always under pressure every time my mother come compared to when my MIL visit me.

I don't know why I did not do a good job in raising my kids, i don't know why I fail but mak don't you think I tried. Mak how would you feel if when you scolded your son, he cried and hid behind the cupboard and begging for his father to comeback. I stop scolding them since that, instead I asked them softly, may be I have to repeat, may be I have to remind them many times but I know my children will do the things I said eventually. I am sorry mak, I know you meant good. I know I am who I am now because of you and I am grateful that I have you as a mother, but don't you think I know my children better. Please let me raise them my own way.

Neglected

2009-02-24T19:33:00.000-08:00

I've been neglecting my blog for nearly a month. Why? I can give many excuses but the main reason is my laziness, furthermore I am only human. Another reason is I have a full house. Hmm full house you might ask, it is literally full house.

My sister , her family and her maid is staying with me now and I rented one room to a new teacher who just posted to my school. Sometimes my mother came and visit us. My sister had been staying with me for nearly a month and the new teacher rented the room for two months. My house has four rooms and all room are occupied. Some of you might say, how can I cope with so many people in my house but actually the truth is I like the situation now.

First of all I don't have to worry about my children because when they reach home my sister and her maid is in the house to look after them, my mind are at ease. My house is lively like it used to be (because after my husband's death, my house was not the same, it is quiet no more laughter). Now with 11 people in the house , it is alive again.

However I have to compete with my sister to use the internet Arrrgh. He he he

Second phase

2009-02-07T08:04:00.000-08:00

Thanks for all the positive comments, really boost my spirit. Make me want to do more for my girls. So this is the second phase of what we have done. Some teacher said it looks more like a kindergarten, but when I ask my girls they love it and well to me that is more important. With limited resources this is what we had achieved so far.

The recreational reading area with smiley pillows

Another recreational reading area, usually teachers use this area but I never stop the girls from using this area

As for the blog I already open an account and I've link it to sites that I felt useful for my girls and my colleagues and it is fully in bahasa. Only for entries on Thursday is in English because it is English day. However I am having problem in changing the header picture. I wanted to make the picture I took as the header but somehow it is not so easy.

Now I need to solve another problem, good books keep missing from the resource center aka library. The library had faced this problem for a long time. Every time new books coming in, it went missing. So as the solution the previous teacher hid the books in the processing room. I don't want to do that, what is the use of buying new books if the girls cannot make full use of it. So any ideas. He he he I am getting free consultation from my fellow blogger hope you don't mind.

The first phase

2009-02-03T00:28:00.000-08:00

I would like to thank all of you for your ideas regarding my school library. I am in the process of trying to make the library a more inviting place for my students and also in the process to fully automated the library system ( two teachers before me tried but fail). These are the result of nearly a month of hard and dirty work. Now I am in the process of planning a section for recreational reading, where the students can sit on the floor and read. These are the first phase photos so wait for the second phase

The square table around the world

This arrangement came from one of my librarian

I also plan to open a blog for my library so that my students can view the latest books and also they can give their comments. I hope with this method I can encourage my students to use the internet and to give them the chance to voice out what type of books they wanted to read. So what do you think?

Amir's birthday

2009-01-28T05:12:00.000-08:00

Today 29 th January is Amir's birthday, but this not about Amir's birthday it is a day before it. We went to Port Dickson on that very day. Aisyah is suppose to be in school, however she is not , he he. Whatlah her mother is a teacher yet .......... ( so please fill in the blank with your own word I just don't have the heart to write it)

Actually this is our first real outing after my husband's death. We went with my sister her children and my mother even though she just undergo a knee operation she insisted on going ( so mak don't complain ya). Amir said this is the best birthday ever ( we actually celebrated his birthday on that day because I can't afford to make my kids miss two schooling days, can I?)

All five children looking at the horizon I presumed

I wonder who's boat is this

This is how titanic suppose to end

Do you remember the time

2009-01-22T21:42:00.000-08:00

It's time for cross country , but as for me, can I say cross town because my school is in town. The event started at 7.30 . I was in charge of listing out the winners. Here are some of the photos I captured, hope you can feel the spirit and who knows it would take you back to your school years. Somehow being a teacher always makes me feel younger.The warming up sessions.

The winner for under fifteen, a petite form 2 girl, her time 26 minutes and 46 seconds

My librarian selling candies and drinks for their club fund

The St John's girls, reporting for duty

St John's girls in action

The girls cheering their teammates,

The winning team, rumah Ledang the yellow house. My sport house only manage to get fourth place sob, sob, sob

HAPPY RETIREMENT

2009-01-22T05:43:00.002-08:00

. Pn Rumyati, Pn Hasiah, Pn Badariah, Mr Chong, Yours truly and Datin Lata.

Last week one of my fellow teacher from my school Mr Chong, has retired. We celebrated his retirement in school with all the students and for teachers the Holiday In Glenmarie Shah Alam .

When I asked him what is his immediate plan after retiring he said he is going to teach in a private college. Wah! Mr Chong you just retired and you still wanted to teach hah. Well I haven't recieved my gratuitylah and my mrs is still working. Oooo. Anyway Mr Chong I wish him Happy retirement.

Mr Chong to me is like a brother I never had and also a mobile infomation centre because I can ask him anything regarding the teaching profession. He is also for ever ready to lend us his helping hand.

I doubt that he will be reading this because non of my colleagues in school know the existence of this blog. Last year when I was reading my friend's blog one teacher asked me what was I doing, and I told her I was reading a blog, she said to me those people have nothing good to do hah, wasting time in front of their computer. I defended my fellow bloggers by saying that blogger don't waste time, and said blogging connect us to the world. But I just don't want to waste my time trying to explain things she would not understand. Sometimes people are just not open minded even though they are supposed to be the window to the world for their students.

fourth day of school

2009-01-07T01:26:00.000-08:00

It is the fourth day of school. The kids are now getting more familiar with the routine. I pity them though for they have to walk everyday back from school in the hot afternoon and rush to prepare themselves and walk to the religious school after that.Despite all that the kids never complain. Sometimes I felt so helpless for I cannot make their life easier. I can only hope these hardship can make them stronger to face the cruel world.

Omar is happy because now he get pocket money, RM 1 for the morning school and RM 1 for the afternoon school. He told me he wanted to save the money to buy toys as I told my kids if they wanted to buy toys or anything other than food or books they have to save their own money.

As for me I am still teaching Physics and also was appointed as the library teacher. Now my friends I really need an advice on how to make my school library more conducive and inviting. As you can see here the library is sooo dull and the lighting is dim.

Outlandish Look Into My Eyes

2009-01-03T00:44:00.001-08:00

( I saw a father carrying his injured daughter on the paper this morning my heart broke into thousand pieces . Can anybody answer me when will this stop} and then someone mailed me this song.

Look into my eyes
Tell me what you see
You don't see a damn thing
'cause you can't relate to me
You're blinded by our differences
My life makes no sense to you
I'm the persecuted one
You're the red, white and blue

Each day you wake in tranquility
No fears to cross your eyes
Each day I wake in gratitude
Thanking God He let me rise
You worry about your education
And the bills you have to pay
I worry about my vulnerable life
And if I'll survive another day
Your biggest fear is getting a ticket
As you cruise your Cadillac
My fear is that the tank that has just left
Will turn around and come back

Yet, do you know the truth of where your money goes?
Do you let the media deceive your mind?
Is this a truth nobody, nobody, nobody knows?
Has our world gone all blind?

Yet, do you know the truth of where your money goes?
Do you let the media deceive your mind?
Is this a truth nobody, nobody, nobody knows?
Someone tell me ...

Ooohh, let's not cry tonight
I promise you one day it's through
Ohh my brothers, Ohh my sisters
Ooohh, shine a light for every soul that ain't with us no more
Ohh my brothers, Ohh my sisters

See I've known terror for quite some time
57 years so cruel
Terror breathes the air I breathe
It's the checkpoint on my way to school
Terror is the robbery of my land
And the torture of my mother
The imprisonment of my innocent father
The bullet in my baby brother
The bulldozers and the tanks
The gases and the guns
The bombs that fall outside my door
All due to your funds
You blame me for defending myself
Against the ways of my enemies
I'm terrorized in my own land (what)
And I'm the terrorist?

Yet, do you know the truth of where your money goes?
Do you let the media deceive your mind?
Is this a truth nobody, nobody, nobody knows?
Has our world gone all blind?

Yet, do you know the truth of where your money goes?
Do you let the media deceive your mind?
Is this a truth nobody, nobody, nobody knows?
Someone tell me ...

Ooohh, let's not cry tonight, I promise you one day it's through
Ohh my brothers, Ohh my sisters,
Ooohh, shine a light for every soul that ain't with us no more
Ohh my brothers, Ohh my sisters,

Alphabets of happiness

2009-01-01T02:25:00.000-08:00

* A--Accept *
Accept others for who they are and for the choices they've made even
if you have difficulty understanding their beliefs, motives, or
actions.

*B--Break Away *
Break away from everything that stands in the way of what you hope to
accomplish with your life.

*C--Create *
Create a family of friends whom you can share your hopes, dreams,
sorrows, and happiness with.

*D--Decide *
Decide that you'll be successful and happy come what may, and good
things will find you. The roadblocks are only minor obstacles along
the way.

*E--Explore *
Explore and experiment. The world has much to offer, and you have much
to give. And every time you try something new, you'll learn more about
yourself.

*F--Forgive *
Forgive and forget. Grudges only weigh you down and inspire
unhappiness and grief. Soar above it, and remember that everyone makes
mistakes.

*G--Grow *
Leave the childhood monsters behind. They can no longer hurt you or
stand in your way.

*H--Hope *
Hope for the best and never forget that anything is possible as long
as you remain dedicated to the task.

*I--Ignore *
Ignore the negative voice inside your head. Focus instead on your
goals and remember your accomplishments. Your past success is only a
small inkling of what the future holds.

*J--Journey*
Journey to new worlds, new possibilities, by remaining open-minded.
Try to learn something new every day, and you'll grow.

*K--Know *
Know that no matter how bad things seem, they'll always get better.
The warmth of spring always follows the harshest winter.

*L--Love *
Let love fill your heart instead of hate. When hate is in your heart,
there's room for nothing else, but when love is in your heart, there's
room for endless happiness.

*M--Manage *
Manage your time and your expenses wisely, and you'll suffer less
stress and worry. Then you'll be able to focus on the important things
in life.

*N--Notice *
Never ignore the poor, infirm, helpless, weak, or suffering. Offer
your assistance when possible, and always your kindness and
understanding.

*O--Open *
Open your eyes and take in all the beauty around you. Even during the
worst of times, there's still much to be thankful for.

*P--Play *
Never forget to have fun along the way. Success means nothing without
happiness.

*Q--Question *
Ask many questions, because you're here to learn.

*R--Relax *
Refuse to let worry and stress rule your life, and remember that
things always have a way of working out in the end.

*S--Share *
Share your talent, skills, knowledge, and time with others. Everything
that you invest in others will return to you many times over.

*T--Try *
Even when your dreams seem impossible to reach, try anyway. You'll be
amazed by what you can accomplish.

*U--Use *
Use your gifts to your best ability. Talent that's wasted has no
value. Talent that's used will bring unexpected rewards.

*V--Value *
Value the friends and family members who've supported and encouraged
you, and be there for them as well.

*W--Work *
Work hard every day to be the best person you can be, but never feel
guilty if you fall short of your goals. Every sunrise offers a second
chance.

*X--X-Ray *
Look deep inside the hearts of those around you and you'll see the
goodness and beauty within.

*Y--Yield *
Yield to commitment. If you stay on track and remain dedicated, you'll
find success at the end of the road.

*Z--Zoom *
Zoom to a happy place when bad memories or sorrow rear a ugly head.

From Zaiton Md Noh USM Alumni group

Thank you

2008-12-27T17:00:00.000-08:00

1430 hijrah is tomorrow, so I wishing to all my muslim friends Happy new year. 2009 is also just round the corner, Many things I wished I could change this year, but it is all Allah's will and who am I to question anything that had happened moreover to change it. All I can do, is to try my best to make 2009 and 1430 better than this year and hopefully I can be strong for my children Insyaallah.

Next year my Aisyah is going to sit for her UPSR exam and also Omar is entering formal school for the first time. My friends I would like to thank you a thousand thanks for all your support, just by knowing you were there to read my words give me strengh. Eventhough I didn't write as often as I want to, you never fail to respond to me, so once again thank you.

Stairways to heaven

2008-12-16T04:36:00.000-08:00

My Late husband's guitar, actually it was his nephew's. He use to play Stairways to heaven the song you are listening to right now. This is one of his favourite. Listening to this song makes me smile.

What we did last Adha

2008-12-13T19:17:00.000-08:00

We went balik kampung on saturday and stay there until wednesday.
The boys at my uncle's house, playing together

On Adha morning my uncle took my children to the Qurban perdana at Kg Parit Bulat Muar. The kids came home with so many questions. Aisyah asked me why do we killed the cows. I have to give a very long explaination started from the Phrophet Ibrahim's story.
One of the cows , seven cows for qurban this year

Cow whisperer

This might be disturbing for some. This picture is taken by Aisyah

I also explained that the animal for qurban is the animal that we loved the most. After that Omar said If we qurban animal that we loved than he should qurban the cats because he loved cats ( my grandmother's house had 4 cats and the kids loved it). The question make me laugh and at the same time a bit scared. The question is so innocent, I explained to him that only cows, goat or sheep and camel can be qurban ( before I went back to Klang I had to check the cats, just in case if any of it is missing, Omar and Amir had some history of trying to qurban a few animals, he he).

Milo the children favourite cat

In the evening I took the kids and my cousins to the hot spring (my kampung had a hot spring not very far from my grandmother's house). The kids really enjoyed themselves, as for me I just dip my feet in the pool. The entrance to the hot spring, Kolam Air Panas Sungai Resik Muar

hot spring pool

Omar showing off his swimming skill in the children pool and the water is cold.

By the way my mother is coming back from mecca after performing her hajj this coming sunday. Alhamdulillah, when I called her, she in a good health.
My mother, her sister and her brother in law before they fly off to madina

school holiday

2008-12-04T22:57:00.000-08:00

This school holiday I was quite busy sending the kids to my sister's house because I enrolled them for a holiday school program near my sister's house. The kids do enjoy the the program because they get to do some experiments and also they get to do arts. For two weeks now we slept at my sister's from Monday to Thursday. My sister love to have us there I presumed because her husband is always not at home, out station.

Another thing, It's either chicken pox or measles Omar caught one, he got spots all over his body. Luckily he only suffers for 4 days, the spot is subsiding now but the virus had infected Aisyah. Aisyah's case is a bit worst the spot is more and bigger and it hurts even when she bathed. The doctor told me when older person caught the disease it is worst compared to younger children. I ask the doctor for an antiviral so she can get better faster and she should suffer less. The spots on Aisyah's body is subsiding some are no longer visible but the sopts on her face is still the same .

Tomorrow we are going back to our kampung in Muar Johor to celebrate Aidil Adha. My Uncle told me there are going to be a Kurban Perdana there and he is willing to take the boys there. The boys is going to have a lifetime experience.

So to my muslim friends I wish you Selamat Hari Raya Aidil Adha

He is standing at the window

2008-11-13T23:44:00.000-08:00

There was a little boy visiting his grandparents on their farm. He was given a slingshot to play with, out in the woods. He practiced in the woods, but he could never hit the target. Getting a little discouraged, he headed back for dinner. As he was walking back he saw Grandma's pet duck. Just out of impulse, he let the slingshot fly, hit the duck square in the head and killed it. He was shocked and grieved! In panic, he hid the dead duck under the wood pile, only to see his sister watching! Fatima had seen it all, but she said nothing. After lunch the next day Grandma said, ' Fatima , let's wash the dishes.' But Fatima said, 'Grandma, Ahmed told me he wanted to help in the kitchen.' Then she whispered to him, 'Remember the duck?' So Ahmed did the dishes.

Later that day, Grandpa asked if the children wanted to go fishing and Grandma said, 'I'm sorry but I need Fatima to help make supper.' Fatima just smiled and said, 'Well, that's all right because Ahmed told me he wanted to help.' She whispered again, 'Remember the duck?' So Fatima went fishing and Ahmed stayed to help. After several days of Ahmed doing both his chores and Fatima 's, he finally couldn't stand it any longer. He came to Grandma and confessed that he had killed the duck. Grandma knelt down, gave him a hug and said, 'Sweetheart, I know. You see, I was standing at the window and I saw the whole thing, but because I love you, I forgave you. I was just wondering how long you would let Fatima make a slave of you.'

Thought for the day and every day thereafter? Whatever is in your past, whatever you have done... and the devil keeps throwing it up in your face (lying, cheating, debt, fear, bad habits, hatred, anger, bitterness, etc.)...whatever it is...You need to know that Allah was standing at the window and He saw the whole thing. He has seen your whole life. He wants you to know that He loves you and that you are forgiven. He's just wondering how long you will let the devil make a slave of you. The great thing about Allah is that when you ask for forgiveness, He not only forgives you, but He loves you. It is by Allah's grace and mercy that we are saved.

( received from my alumni group)

Yassin for abang

2008-11-11T06:56:00.000-08:00

Today is my birthday, I received many birthday wishes, thanks to my friends who had send me birthday wishes through mail and sms. My late husband's birthday was 2 days earlier. We are not good with remembering birthdays, so i guess that is why Allah make our birth date not very far apart . We always forgot our anniversary but not our birthdays. When I told the kids about their father's birth date they were happy at first but than Omar ask me what should we do than. I told them we are going to pray together and read yassin for abah. They obliged.

Usually on our birthday we would buy cake, enjoy it among ourselves and give some to the neighbours. So today I will contimue the tradition, I want the kids to feel nothing had change, that eventhough their father is no longer with us we will still celebrate his birthday but with something extra yassin and prayers for abah. However there is something I miss very much, that is on my birthday exactly at midnight my late husband would wish happy birthday and give me a kiss.

Back to school

2008-11-05T22:42:00.000-08:00

I have started working last week. When I went to report for duty the ministry ask me ,where I wanted to go,the choice are either to teacher's collage or back to school. I had given it a deep thougt, I want to go back to my old schoool, so they send me back to my old school SMK(P) Bukit Kuda Klang.

It nice to meet old friends, they have been supporting me during my worst period and now they are accepting me with their hand wide open with warm hugs.

When I report back to my old school they ask me to replace a teacher who are on a maternity leave, so I have to go to the afternoon session. I started work at 12.50 and finished at 6.30 but next year I have to go back to the morning session and I'll be teaching physics again. My adminstrator had ask me to be the library teacher so for next year I am going to start at 7.30 and going back at 3.00.

Amir and Aisyah had to stop going to school because there is no transportation for them and since their exam had finished so they had an early holiday. I am processing their school transfer, so next year I don't have to worry about transportation because the new school is only a walking distance from our house.

Next week is the last week of school, after that there will be a long break. So I am wishing Happy holiday to all the teachers and students.

what's going on

2008-11-03T05:51:00.000-08:00

Is anyone facing a same problem as mine. my dashboard is not its regular self. I cannot upload any photos to my blog. hmm. what should i do than. before this I write my post using scribefire which is easier than going to my dashboard but I cannot upload any photo but here still I cannot upload any photo. what is going on here

Connected, disconected

2008-10-24T17:24:00.001-07:00

A friend of mine is very frustrated with her mobile line provider for charging her RM900 for internet usage. Wow that is outrages. Most mobile line provider change 10 cents /10 kilobytes for transfered data but I never know it can reach up to RM 900 and I know she never subscribe to any paid sites. Actually I do get tired with my broadband line provider. For nearly one week I cannot access the internet due to some problem they are facing. If I want any uninterrupted surfing I have to do it on weekdays and during the day. Sometimes even on weekdays I often get disconnected.

I've tried two other mobile broadband lines before , one is RM99 and the other is RM68 permonth unlimited usage but I'm not satisfied with the speed. The RM99 is using EDGE which is a bit faster than GPRS but I can even sleep during downloading and after I wake up the process is still haven't completed. The RM 68 is using 3G but there is no 3G coverage in my area so I end up using GPRS which is even slower than RM99. One more problem I was using my handphone as a modem so when I wanted to get connected to the internet and as a solution I bought another handphone.

After that I came discovered the mobile broadband I am using now their charge is RM78 monthly and the usage is up to 5 Gig, they even give out a USB broadband modem, the speed is reasonable.

May be some of you are thinking why didn't she use fixed line or streamyx, why opt for mobile broadband. I had apllied to install fixed line at my house but my application is not aproved because they said the line is full. What does they mean by that, it means they have to put another phone poll just for me and they didn't want to do it. so end of story.

Do any of you knows better option for me.

Arggh

2008-10-17T06:56:00.001-07:00

Tomorrow I'm going to sit for my physic`s simulation paper. It is the last paper for my course I'm 3/4 finished, now I have to concentrate on my project paper.

We are supposed to submit our first draft tomorrow but my paper is completed up to the first three chapters, 2 more chapters to go. So I doubt that I would graduate this coming convo, in other word I have to extend another semester.

The biggest problem is, I haven't test my module to my samples which are the form four students so I have no data to work on.

I have to report back to work on the 28th October, hmmm that is another 2 weeks. Oh oh.

Lucky for me the students are still in school until mid november so I still have time to gather my data. However there is one big problem, because the students had finished their exam and 3/4 of them won't be coming to school and I might not have enough sample.

So I praying very hard that everything will go my way, Insyaallah. Who knows with all the odds I can still manage to submit my final draft before the date line which is before the 3rd november.

Pink Floyd Reunion-Wish You Were Here

2008-10-10T20:12:00.001-07:00

My late husband's favourite song. He used to sing this song on his guitar

my story

2008-10-09T20:10:00.000-07:00

Hmm it's been a month since my last posting. It is not that I don't want to share my stories with my beloved friends, you had supported me all this time. I do visit your blog eventhough I seldom leave any mark.

It's been two months after my husband's death. I miss him even more compared to before, my subconscious mind now realise that he is not coming back.

Today is the tenth of Hari Raya and I would like to take this opportunity to wish Selamat Hari Raya to all my friends and I also would like to ask for your fogiveness for all the mistakes I and my late husband had done.

I am going back to school end of this month, however my project is still not complete and most probably I will extend for another semester, and I hope all of you will pray for me so that I am able to finish my studies.

I use to be an ambituos person, I want to get my masters and PHD but now no more. My late husband was my supporter he make me think I can fly high and if anything happen I knew he will always be there to catch me ,now I am crippled.

Now my focus is on my children, I want to always be there for them. I am busy trying to sort out our life, planning where to send my kids next year , I can't afford to hire a maid. I also have to make sure we can survive financially. I need to change the kids school which is nearer to our house so it is easier for me to send them and the transportation fees is cheaper.

My husband contributed to Perkeso however his previous employer does not make any payment and contibution and my late husband does not check it out. and when I went to claim for his pension I couldn't claim any thing because his payment was short by two month. So I would like to remind to you for those who is a member of Perkeso please make sure that your employer make payment and contribution otherwise you'll end up like me, you can check the details in here.

So this me story for now hope you'll stay with me and I really appreciate it

The kids

2008-09-04T23:50:00.000-07:00

Thank you to all my friends for your prayers and supports. It's nearly a month since my husband's death, me and the children are still going strong insyaallah. They listen to me more, compared to when their father was still around. I guess they don't want to lose their mother too.

Aisyah did not show her feeling much but I notice she easily gets irritated with her brother especially Amir. They quarrel a lot. Aisyah never talk to me about her late father and when I ask she'll answer me in a word or two.

Amir is more open, he told me that, it seems that he can still see his father sitting in his favourite chair when he came home from school and he also told me that he feels that something is missing in his life but couldn't figure out what is missing. He helps me a lot in our everyday chores.

As for Omar may be he is still small to understand but when at first I ask him, did he missed his father he said " tak nak, tak best "(he don't want to think about it, it is not pleasant). After a few day he draw me crying, his brother and sister and his father lying in Kafan. When I ask him why did he draw like that he said " kan abah dah meninggal" ( because abah had passed away).

Ramadan is here, hopefully we can complete our ibadah and may allah blessed my husband's soul.

To all my muslim friends "Salam Ramadan"

His time had came

2008-08-21T23:35:00.000-07:00

On 9 August at 3.00 am my beloved husband was taken from me after 12 years sharing our life together. Alhamdulillah I was on his side when he took his last breath. It was painful to saw the doctor tried to retrived him and I stood there, cannot do anything. He was my right hand and now he was gone. Sometimes I feel like giving him a call just to hear his voice and to make sure his ok. Everything is Allah's will, nothing I can do to stop it from happening I realise that.

I always said that I have to be strong for my children but the truth is, it is them who gave me strength. I still don't have the courage to sleep alone, I woke up in the middle of the night looking for him hoping that it is all a bad dream. I still keep all his things in order just like when he is still alive. My mother asked me to give away all his cloth to the needy but I still keep his cloth all press up hang nicely in the cupboard.

May Allah gave me courage and i hope I can be a good mother and father to my children. Yesterday Amir ask me why did he always remembered his father in all the things he did. I told him abah is watching him and ask him to be a good son and always pray for abah. He cried when his father was taken to the mosque, I know he tried not to cry because after I broke the new to him and Aisyah he wipe his eyes a few times but did not shed any tears.

Not my day

2008-08-01T19:25:00.000-07:00

This last few days, actually for the past 3 weeks i've been coughing, I've went to see not only one but three doctors but my condition is still the same , hmm and I think it gone worse. From only coughing now I have running nose, block nose, my face all swollen and aching. The first doctor I met gave me antibiotic which does not agree with me so I got gastritis and diarrhea. So I went to see another doctor who gave me medication for my gastritis and diarrhea but no medicine for my cough and he ask me o stop my antibiotic. my stomach was better but my cough got worse, now with running nose.

The worse thing is my husband is infected by my illness and whenever he got respiratory infection his lung is filled with phlegm and he will have difficulty breathing. As long as i am still coughing he will be repeatedly infected, this I know because within this 3 weeks he have been recovering and got infected again. The last doctor I met, said my illness is not life threatening, I already know that, he is more concern with my husband because in my case it is the infection of the upper respiratory track whereas in my husband case it will go straight to his lung. But I don't think the doctor understand this , if they did not cure me my husband won't get better. His immune system is weak and is very sensitive to respiratory infection.

Now as i am typing, I am coughing, blowing my nose, my throat sore, my body aching but I am not near my husband that is one good thing. My husband is recovering, he can breath more easily now but I am coming home this evening so the episode will start again.

Hmm I am going to buy green tea on my way back.

LAMAN 2008 -MALAYSIA'S LANDSCAPE EXHBITION

2008-07-20T06:15:00.000-07:00

Last sunday I went to Malaysia's Landscape exhibition -LAMAN 2008 . The exhibition is on from 19-27 August at Perdana Lake Kuala Lumpur. Some of the exhibitors are from states municipal from all over malaysia. Here are some of it.

These are from Hliza's home town MelakaTranslation of the rhyme
Merchant's Ship from abroad
Fully loaded with meranti timber
From far you came
People of Melaka awaits

Lemang and dodol, is it hari raya already?

The traditional melaka house

Now from my home town Johor

Kuda Kepang , Johor trademark

There are also fruit stalls, as you can see here rambutans, mangosteens and dragon fruits

From the northen state Kedah, they even brought paddy plant

Landscape from Kedah

When I was about to go, I met an oldfriends from my varsity years. Gee, she still looking young her husband rosli aka badak (sorry ye) gain a few pounds.

So for those who don't know where to go for the next weekends I would suggest you to go to LAMAN 2008 ,who knows you might find something you like or even meet an oldfriend.

yesterday

2008-07-16T19:03:00.000-07:00

Morning

Yesterday morning when I went to Omar's school to pick him up I decided to bring along my camera. Yes I bought a camera. These are the pictures I caught , it may not be a masterpiece but just glance through and if possible , please tell which is your favourite

Sorry I don't know what type of flower this is.

Buah nona or sugar apple scientific name Annona squamosa in front of my neighbour's house.

Mata kucing a type of longan but it is smaller than longan, also planted at my neighbour's house compuond, but this is a different neighbour.

Evening

In the evening it is Amir's turn. So again I brought along the camera

Hliza this is " Klang's" cloud

Gate at Amir's school

A bench under the tree

The school's field

Finally he quits

2008-07-12T02:22:00.000-07:00

Finally my other half quit smoking. He's been smoking since he is 13 and now after 33 years of puffing the cigarette he quits. Thank god.

He suffers from bronchieatasis since he is small so smoking is actually a big no for him. He is always coughing with phlegm and to clear the phlegm I have to do postural drainage everyday but most of the time he refused.

Once, after we were married for two years he cough and vomit out blood. I was very panic and drove him to the nearest hospital and cried while I was driving but do you want to know what my half was doing. He smoked, at that time I really want to smack his head to the steering wheel. How can he smoke after coughing out blood. So when we finally reached the hospital and the doctor came and see us, to my surprise the was no panic sign from the doctor. What happened, is coughing out blood normal. To me nothing is normal about that, blood should be inside our body inside our vein it is not suppose to go out. But actually it is a normal thing with people with bronchiectasis, it will happen when the sufferer got a bacterial infection and there seems to be a tear of small blood vessels. The doctor prescribe him antibiotic and other medication, a week later he is fine.

His left lung is shrinking and now he actually have his right lung to depend on. So just imagine how relieved I am when he quit smoking. Now it's been nearly a month he did not touch any cigarette or cigar.

From my reading, human lung will reduced its efficiency as we grew older, now my half is 46 and there will be time where he will have problem in doing simple chores like walking will make him very tired struggling to breath. I hope we will be strong to face it. Insyaallah

Amir's turn

2008-07-08T01:50:00.001-07:00

Last sunday Amir and Aisyah enter another sparring competition. Amir is entering the competition for the first time whereas for Aisyah it is her third times. This time it is Amir's turn to shine, for the first time he won something. He manage to get bronze and he is very happy and he is skipping all the way home, literally skipping.

Winning this competition sure boost his confidence, it make him feel good and proud with himself.

Amir in blue jacket
Before the second round fight
Amir is smiling ears to ears

Childhood friends

2008-07-07T20:40:00.000-07:00

Last Friday, I had a small reunion with my childhood friends. Guess I can say that because I've known them when I was 13 , my friends Oja and Fizah.

It's nice to meet with old friends and at the same time it felt weird because I was expecting to see an 18 years old boy and suddenly a 36 years old matured man standing in front of me.

For all the single ladies out there, here is an eligible bachelor, financially stable, a good muslim with a quality of a good husband and father.

When everybody is aging, for Fizah the process seems to reversed, she is slimmer, more radiant and she even look younger too.

Oja with Fizah and my children. Hope the children will continue the good friendship

So how about you, missing any oldfriends lately.?

Batik anyone

2008-06-30T23:14:00.000-07:00

Last sunday we had an art activity, batik colouring. I never knew batik colouring is so much fun.

The artists with their masterpieces Omar with his spongebob squarepants

For someone with a very short attention span, I am impress with Amir's focus when colouring his flower

Aisyah with her masterpiece

DURIAN SEASON AGAIN - GET READY TO PUT ON A FEW POUNDS!!!

2008-06-27T22:23:00.000-07:00

Pictures to make you lau nuah!

The Penangites are connorsieurs & take their durians very seriously. Enjoy!
Thanks kak Zaiton USM Alumni

Yah Kang (Centipede Durian)
Although its flesh is whitish, the taste is superb, milky, like very sweet, melting chocolate. The name 'yah kang' means centipede, and accounts for the number of centipedes found at the foot of the tree, hence giving it the rather unusual name.

Xiao Hung (Little Red Durian)
Xiao Hung, whose name means 'Little Red One,' originates in Sungai Pinang, Balik Pulau. The flesh has a bittersweet taste to it, with a touch of sourness. There are only one or two seeds per section, but the flesh is thick.

Khun Poh
This durian takes the name of the late Mr Lau Khun Poh, who first budded it. Khun Poh has beautiful orangy flesh with a slightly bitter-sweet taste and a heavy aroma.

Ooi Kyau (Tumeric Durian)
The name Ooi flesh of this durian. It is very sweet and tasty Kyau (tumeric) describes the colour of the bright yellow.

Hor Loh (Water Gourd Durian)
The flesh of the Hor Loh is very soft, dry and quite bitter. It has a sharp smell to it. Hor Loh was first cultivated at the Brown Estate of Sungai Ara. It got its name from its appearance resembling a 'Hor Lor' pumpkin. If the durian hits the ground hard when it falls, the flesh tends to be bitter thereafter

D604
The D604 was first cultivated by the late Mr. Teh Hew Hong of Sungai Pinang, Balik Pulau. The flesh is quite sweet, and has some 'body' to it as the seed is small
D600
This durian originates in Sungai Pinang in Balik Pulau. The flesh has a bittersweet taste to it, with a touch of sourness. This one is a bit hard.
D11
'Number Eleven' is a very popular durian in the 70's. It has creamy yellow flesh with a pleasant taste and a subtle smell
Coupling
This durian is gets its unusual name because it looks like two durians joined together, one big and one small. When split open, you almost thought the two halves belong to two different durians. Coupling has whitish flesh which is slightly dry but tastes good
Chaer Phoy (Green Skin Durian)
Chaer Phoy is shaped like a small canteloupe. The skin is bright green, giving it the name which means 'green skin'. Chaer Phoy has creamy white flesh which is a bit dry, not too sweet but tasty
Ang Sim (Red Heart)
Ang Sim is a durian with flesh which is quite soft and very sweet, and dark yellow in colour. It also has a nice aroma
Ang Jin (Red Yoke Durian)
As the name suggests, Ang Jin Durian has deep orange flesh. It is very sweet and tasty

Open day

2008-06-25T00:29:00.000-07:00

Last monday was the open day for my son Amir's school and yesterday was my daughter's Aisyah. I went to Amir's school and the teacher complaint that Amir is always dreaming in class as if he is in his own world, those are the exact words used by the teacher. I send Amir to an all boys school hoping that the teacher are prepared to teach boys but I guess my Amir is to much to handle.

When my husband went to Aisyah's school, the teacher ask him, is Aisyah having any emotional pressure, really, is it that bad? How come I didn't notice anything wrong with my children. Having such remarks from the teachers make me think am I doing the right things. As for their exam results it is an average one ,Aisyah got a C for maths and others are B's and A's while Amir got 3 C which are maths and Bahasa Malaysia and the others are B's and A's.

Amir is a soft spoken and soft hearted boy and a bit lack of confident while Aisyah a bit more confident and she will voice out any dissatisfaction to me. I spend most of my free time with them, we dine out, we play board game like chess and monopoly together. We pray together. So what have I done wrong?

Epilepsy

2008-06-24T00:29:00.000-07:00

Last two days was world epilepsy day. Someone very close to me, my half is suffering from epilepsy. He got it due to a brain operation he had while studying in the US which is caused by brain abscess . Now he have to take medication continuously to prevent from an epilepsy attack however he still get the attack despite taking the medication .

Recently he had an attack, it was a mild attack which cause him to lost control of his left side of the body. If the attack is a major attack he will lost control of all his body function up to a stage where he will pass motion uncontrollably, a doctor once told me at that point it is very dangerous because he might stop breathing because he had no control of his body and organ function. To me no matter what degree the attack is, it will always scared me to death.

Alhamdullilah when ever he is about to get the attack I will sense it, so I can take immediate action, usually I will make him take the pill, and make him sit on the floor to prevent any other injury. Once I was upstairs and he got the attack that make him fall of the chair luckily the injuries is not serious just a few bruises.

When I delivered my second child he got an attack while driving my eldest daughter to visit me at the hospital Alhamdulillah no serious injuries. Now every time he is driving to any where alone I will always feel my heart beat faster when he reach home late or when I fail to contact him.

Well that is my experience with someone suffering from epilepsy, any of you had any experience similar to mine do share.

Sorry my friends

2008-06-24T00:13:00.000-07:00

It's been nearly a month that I manage to get myself disappear from the virtual world. I was lost, for two weeks, I cut all contact from the cyber world, i did not open my e-mail and I didn't even open my computer. I just cannot explain to you what happened because I myself couldn't understand what is going on with me. So I hope you can forgive me. A few of my friends make an afford to contact me but I didn't reply their messages. Once again I would like to apologize to all of you, my friends and hope you understand.

Weekend

2008-05-26T07:59:00.000-07:00

Last sunday Aisyah participate in the Teak won do Sparring Competition District level. She lost the first round but still I am proud of her for trying. Her competitor is very much taller then her and keep aiming for her head. Her brother Amir passed his test and now wearing green belt.
OK I am ready ( nervously smilling)

The girls is waiting for their turn because there is a problem with the diff in height, but the competition is on. dispite the diff.

Cannot say it is fair fight, one girl is taller and with red belt while Aisyah is shorter with only blue belt. This is the problem with such competition the children might weight the same but their height is so different.
Woa! the taller girl keep aiming for the head

Last sunday, Omar my youngest son's kindergarten PASTI DARULULUM had their sport's day.

What am I suppose to do here, should I just stand here

Would someone tell me what game are we playing

Oh oh I need to go to the toilet

Ok boys run as fast as you can don't look back

Mom I'm too fast for you to catch

We are number one , green house is number one

We are the champion my friends

Computer Problem

2008-05-23T02:58:00.000-07:00

It's been a week I didn't post any entry in this blog. My computer is having problem, I cannot even enter google. So I had to send my computer to the repair shop and they reformatted it. To bad, because I had so many stories to tell and the most unfortunate is all my old software is gone, all of it, my dictionary software I bought, my spss software, my mathematica sofware all cannot be saved arrrgh sob,sob. Now I have to buy it again. Hmmm. Ok now I need to calculate the cost I have to pay for my new software.

mother and sister

2008-05-19T21:03:00.002-07:00

My sister isn't she a doll

my mother still looking young

Last saturday my mother and my sister had a fight, so I was called up to be the moderator. When I was talking to my mother I would be on my sister's side and when I was talking to my sister I would be on my mother's side. It is a bit tiring though. My mother and sister is very much a like both are very sensitive, highly emotional and very strong headed. As for me, I am more like my father I presumed quiet, patient, and not sensitive at all. My mother had gone home after the fight I failed to persuade her to stay and she gave me rational reason so I let her go.

I would like to ask your opinion, if you are in my situation what would you do.

Teacher's day

2008-05-15T09:10:00.000-07:00

Jika hari ini seorang Perdana Menteri berkuasa,
Jika hari ini seorang Raja menaiki takhta
Jika hari ini seorang Presiden sebuah negara
Jika hari ini seorang ulama yang mulia
Jika hari ini seorang peguam menang bicara
Jika hari ini seorang penulis terkemuka
Sejarahnya dimulakan oleh seorang guru biasa
Dengan lembut sabarnya mengajar tulis-baca.

(Dipetik dari sajak GURU OH GURU karya Allahyarham Usman Awang)

If today a powerful prime minister
If today a king is crowned
If today a President of a nation
If today a noble Ulama'
If today a lawyer wins a trial
If today a prominent writer
The history is started by an ordinary teacher
with tenderness and patient teaching to write and to read

by the late Usman Awang 1979

I would like to wish Happy Teacher's Day , especially to Kak Zainab, Amirahsyuhada, Fizah and all teachers in Malaysia. We've met many teachers in our life journey some just pass by but some leave a mark in our life. I want to be the teacher who make a difference in my student's life, that is my dream.

I remember when I was in form three I had a BM teacher whom I really like. Pn Ena she is a teacher like no other and there is also another teacher Pn Norliza who teaches me math very soft spoken and pretty to.There is also Pn Ramlah, Pn Fatimah and in form two Pn Aminah my friend and I used to call her (mak penyu) turtle mother I can't remember why.

Then in form four I went to SMS Muar met many good teachers however It's hard to remember their names I don't know why. I remember in form five I always had an argument with my Bahasa Malaysia teacher and he even ask me to stand outside the classroom or was it another teacher hmm I don't remember.

I wish I there is a way for me to ask for forgiveness from all my teachers for all the wrongdoing I've done to them. I Ritalaily Ishak ex-student of SK Nong Chik (1978-1983),SK Sri Skudai (1984) SMRK Sri Skudai(1985-1987), SMS Muar(1988-1989) would like to ask for forgiveness from all my ex teachers, maafkan saya cikgu di atas semua kesalahan saya dan halalkan ilmu yang dicurahkan selama ini.

So what about you who do you remember right now?

berita pada kawan-m.nasir ebiet

2008-05-14T20:31:00.001-07:00

A song I really enjoy listening to and the lyrics to me are very touching.

15 of 1 questions

2008-05-12T19:42:00.000-07:00

I was tagged by izzo
15 of 1

1) What i did for the past one minute?
I was sitting in front of my lap top visiting my friends blog

2)What I did for the past one hour?
cooking

3) What am i going to do the next one hour?
Cleaning the house

4) What I did yesterday?
I went to Tg Malim to submit my proposal

5) What I am going to do tomorrow?
The usual thing I did everyday, cleaning the house, cooking, prepare the children for school, and the list goes on.

6) One last person sms me?
My friend Fiza informing me she is in the hospital due to dengue( I going to visit her this evening).

7) One last person who phone me?
My sister asking me to sms her

8) One type of food I just bought?
I would say Bakso

9) One thing I lost recently
a pen

10) One movie I watch recently
Water horse

11) One recent gossip?
I don't remember, if I'm not mistaken it is about termite

12) One word I would like to express?
Love

13) One book I read
Thinking skill and Problem solving an Inclusive Approach

14) One type of sickness I usually get?
Headache

15) One dream?
To be a better muslim, wife, mother and teacher

I am tagging mother and daughter

Kak Zainab and Kuey-san

The first time.

2008-05-11T07:36:00.000-07:00

Talking about mother's day bring me back to the day I entered motherhood. The first time I knew that I was pregnant I was happy but afraid at the same time. Happy because I will become a mother and afraid because i don't know anything about becoming a mother. I was lucky , I did not have morning sickness I can eat anything in fact i ate everything and I gained 20 extra kg. I was very worried, thinking a lot of what if, what if the baby did not survive, what if I rolled in my stomach when I sleep, and many other what if. On the due date I delivered a healthy 3.5 kg baby girl. (wonder where the extra 16 kg goes, ops there it is , in my hip, my tummy and almost every inch of my body)

When my husband iqamat the baby, I can hear his voice trembling, oh his first daughter Alhamdulillah. The nurse let me take a look at the baby and let me kiss her. I did not feel the love for my own baby and I was afraid to be left alone with her. My mother took care of me for the whole 40 confinement days. When my mother went out to send my father to work in the morning, I was afraid that my baby would wake up and cry. I was helpless, I didn't know what to do when my daughter cries. I never bath my baby during my confinement. I tried to breast feed her however I failed I was very frustrated. Having my mother handling everything for me does not help either. When my baby cried my mother will came to the rescue. My daughter is her first grand child. My mother even want me to let her take care of my daughter, the problem is she live 300 km away from me, so I decide take care of my own baby and I never regret it.

When my daughter is four months old I found out that I was pregnant again. I was not prepared for it. However I accept reluctantly. There are times I felt guilty to my daughter because I did not gave her the love she deserved but deep inside of me she is my first baby. Now my daughter is 11 the love grew everyday but sometimes I do feel there is a distance between us. I hope that my daughter would forgive me for being less a mother that she hope me would be and Aisyah mak do love you very very much.

Mother's Day

2008-05-08T03:32:00.000-07:00

Mother's day is approaching. After my father's death my mother have been living alone. Me and my sister fail to persuade her to live with us. she'll come and visit us for a few days, after that she'll insist on going back home. My mother is staying at my sister's house now because my sister just got a job. What should I give my mother for mother's day. When I was fifteen, I remember giving her a vase. Still thinking, still thinking, still thinking any ideas my friends

Old friend

2008-05-07T19:11:00.000-07:00

Alhamdullilah my daughter is going to school today. Thanks for all your support. An old friend of mine visited me yesterday (in my blog). I always wonder why it is called old friend because we are not so old after all he,he. I am happy that we are able to stay connected through the net. We use to be the best of friend and still is, however since she moved to Tronoh we nearly lost contact. So I would like to shout out to Fiza and Oja, Huda is on the net. Insyaallah all of us can meet together sometime to catch up on each others life.

Sick daughter

2008-05-06T19:30:00.001-07:00

My schedule is a bit tight these few days, the dateline to submit my proposal is approaching and my daughter is sick, she is suffering from a severe headache . We took her to two different doctors the first doctor we went to, is a GP who says it is due to indigestion ( I was not very confident with her explanation but I didn't say anything).

The next day my daughter became worse she is lethargic, sleepy and the headache is stronger. I was panicked and start thinking of the worse, could this be meningitis because I thought small kids don't get headache. I checked info on meningitis through the net. The symptom is similar to what she is having. So I took her to a pediatrician since she is 11. It was my husband who took her there so I didn't know exactly what is the diagnosis ( The doctor gave my daughter a pain killer and an antibiotic) but he wanted to see her again today, hopefully it is nothing serious. However I am relief because she looks better today, the headache is reducing, she is able to move around.

I don't like it when my children is sick, kept thinking what is wrong , what if it is life threatening and my heart will start beating faster. Am I being paranoia, but I guess all mothers feel the same way I do, don't you think ?

English or Bahasa Malaysia

2008-05-04T00:58:00.000-07:00

I received another comment last night delivered through my friend. Again the comment is why I write my blog in English, why don't I write it in Bahasa Malaysia. My friend defended me and next he said that if I want to improve English, blogging is not the way, I should improve through my thoughts and other way I don't remember. He said I should promote Bahasa Malaysia, not bring down the language by using English. It's a bit to much I think.

Here is what I would like to say to him, blogging to me is my media to express my thought. I only use English in two occasion, one when I am teaching and the other is when I am blogging. I converse in Bahasa Malaysia all the time, at home, at the market and many other times. To me blogging really help my English as you see my English is not so good with grammar mistake here and there but when blogging I am forcing my self to practice my language. I even have to check the dictionary when I didn't know the words because I am thinking in BM but writing in English. When I write, my brain have more time to process the word, it give me time to checked. It is different in conversation you must process the words very fast and you cannot take back what you have said.

When I write my blog in English I am not bringing down Bahasa Malaysia, in english more people can read my thought, I can reach to more people because more people understand English than Bahasa Malaysia. The blog I read and refer especially in education is not only from Malaysia but from all over the world so if I write my blog in Bahasa Malaysia they will not understand what I am trying to deliver.

In the paper today, many politician wanted the government to change Math and science medium from to english back to Bahasa malaysia. To me why do we need to change the language, just because some students cannot understand english, it doesn't means that we have to stop using english for math and science. Try look at the students who learn math and science in english started from standard one, most of them can understand what the teacher is teaching because they started from the very beginning even those who lived in the rural area.

Malaysia is a developing nation, I think there is nothing wrong if the students learn math and science in english because as we can see how many math and science books are in Bahasa Malaysia. Not many isn't it. How can we tap the knowledge if there is language barrier. What more the students still learn other subjects in Bahasa Malaysia, we are not whipping of Bahasa Malaysia in school. I think we should try to helped the rural students who can't cope with English to improve it, rather than abolishing english from math and science.

What is your comment?

Why you blog

2008-05-01T08:34:00.000-07:00

The true reason why I blog is to be close to my friends. Actually is a friend in particular, an old friend from my college year. She have been blogging for many years I reckon. The first time I visited her blog she had an accident if I am not mistaken.

Another friend of mine ask me to join her IM and I did, however when I ask this particular friend of mine she said, she has no time. So, here I am, I make my own blog just to share her interest and somehow I got hook to it. Things we do for a friendship Nani don't get mad this is a true story but now I understand why you are so hooked up with blogging.

Talking about old friend, I received a phone call from someone I haven't met for a very long time 12 years to be exact. Really make my day, don't you love hearing a voice you haven't heard for a long time. She is married to a police officer and have 3 little kids. I am going to give her a visit some day.

So I have a question to you, why do you blog? I 've told you my story now it's your turn

When I can't shut my eyes

2008-04-30T10:15:00.000-07:00

Here I am 1.15 in the morning staring at the screen of my laptop. I should be asleep by now, somehow I am not sleepy. I cannot figure it, why aren't I sleepy. I am the type of person who will easily doze off when my head hit the pillow but not tonight. Actually I also have nothing to write here however the least I can do is to wish all Happy Labour Day. What so happy about labour day, it is only a day off but come to think of it, if it is a day off that I am still employed when many people are jobless. I should be thankful of that. So to all employees out there Happy Labour Day. I would like to ask you a question what did you do when you can't sleep?

He is not alone

2008-04-29T19:00:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I helped out at my son's kindergarten , they are short of teacher because one teacher is sick. Well what to do I am a teacher so I just can help it. At first I was just helping them doing some wall decoration but when I saw a class without a teacher so I entered the class. There are 10 students in the class. The students was writing numbers, a task given by another teacher before I entered the class.

I introduced my self and ask them to continue with what they were doing. One boy came to me and show his writing I commented " very good you're a clever boy" the boy smiles, I asked him to sit at his place. After that everyone wanted to show me their work, I helped the them to write. I told the class I will give them smiley face is they finished their work.

Then I saw this boy, he is sitting in a small chair. He cannot write and he struggle to hold the pencil. His hand is short with fingers that cannot function well. He is physically challenge and sits quietly in front of the class. I go to him and ask, can you write, he nodded and tries to hold his pencil and scribble on the paper. I hold his fragile hand and guide him to write no 3. I asked him his name and I told him he is a clever boy and helped him finish his work and gave him a smiley face. His face lit up and he smiles.

He told me he wanted to be a doctor when he grow up, it breaks my heart. I told him to study hard. After that the boy can't stop talking, he told me where his mother is working, how many cars he have, he is cheerful,but I have to leave his table to look at his friends work. I saw him sit quietly at his table, he cannot walk his hand and feet are very small hardly functioning, but I also saw he have a big heart. I wish he will succeed in his live and be brave enough to face this cruel world. Not long after that his caregiver came and took him back and we all said good bye to him.

Little League

2008-04-27T20:20:00.000-07:00

Last Sunday my youngest son represent his kindergarden, PASTI Darululum to a soccer match for Shah Alam level.

We are in white and we manage to get to the semi finals,unfortunately we lost 2-0.

For the 3rd and 4th placing we lost 2-1 by penalty kick.

Addicted

2008-04-26T03:07:00.000-07:00

Blogging is addictive. I guess those who is hooked to it can really understand what i meant. Today I went to buy my household stock for the week and I came across an arrangement of plants for sale at the hypermarket. Thinking that it might be a good material for my blog immediately I took out my hand phone and started to snap some pic. Just didn't care if anybody is staring.

This flower really caught my eyes. Unfortunately I didn't know what type of flower it is

The flowers are actually red in colour. I guess this is what you get when taking pictures using camera. what to do I am cheap.

I am not into flowers but this beautiful chrysanthemum make me wish I planted it home.

There are also some cactus , this one looks like a flower

World through my handphone

2008-04-25T07:21:00.000-07:00

Handphones are now no longer use as a telephone, we use it for many different uses. May be in the future it can also be use as a remote key for our car. Here is what my hand phone was used, as a camera here are what my weekend was like.
On saturday we went to a health carnival in Shah Alam. Guess what was on displayed, cars, there was an autoshow . Eventhough we couldn't make any connection between health carnival and autoshow we sure enjoy ourselves.

my son's teak wan do grading on sunday.
This was actually not during the weekend. It's the journey I took to Tg Malim today

Reach home after maghrib.

Down the memory lane

2008-04-23T20:00:00.001-07:00

I've invited my alumni group to visit my blog and the respond is overwhelming. I received many good comments. Thanks to all of you.Did anyone of you recognize this, Its the library of our alma mater USM Penang.

These are the pic I manage to grab from the net

Still remember this moment? Precious

Desa Harapan

Tasik USM, good times

WHAT TEACHERS MAKE

2008-04-22T20:39:00.000-07:00

Some of you may have read this, it's from my alumni group and i really like it. So this is what i want to share with teachers out there.

The dinner guests were sitting around the table discussing life.

One man, a CEO, decided to explain the problem with education. He argued, "What's a kid going to learn from someone who decided his best option in life was to become a teacher?"

He reminded the other dinner guests what they say about teachers: "Those who can, do. Those who can't, teach."

To stress his point he said to another guest;
"You're a teacher, Bonnie. Be honest. What do you make?"

Bonnie, who had a reputation for honesty and frankness replied, "You want to know what I make? (She paused for a second, then began...)

"Well, I make kids work harder than they ever thought they could.

I make a C+ feel like the Congressional Medal of Honor.

I make kids sit through 40 minutes of class time when their parents can't make them sit for 5 without an I Pod, Game Cube or movie rental.

You want to know what I make?" (She paused again and looked at each and every person at the table.)

''I make kids wonder.

I make them question.

I make them apologize and mean it.

I make them have respect and take responsibility for their actions.

I teach them to write and then I make them write. Keyboarding isn't everything.

I make them read, read, read.

I make them show all their work in math. They use their God given brain, not the man-made calculator.

I make my students from other countries learn everything they need to know in English while preserving their unique cultural identity.

I make my classroom a place where all my students feel safe.

I make my students stand, placing their hand over their heart to say the Pledge of Allegiance to the Flag, One Nation Under God, because we live in the United States of America.

Finally, I make them understand that if they use the gifts they were given, work hard, and follow their hearts, they can succeed in life."

(Bonnie paused one last time and then continued.)

"Then, when people try to judge me by what I make, with me knowing money isn't everything, I can hold my head up high and pay no attention because they are ignorant... You want to know what I make?

I MAKE A DIFFERENCE . What do you make Mr. CEO?"

His jaw dropped, he went silent.

They call me cikgu

2008-04-22T08:09:00.001-07:00

My students always ask me how to study physics, do they have to memorize all the formulas and I always told them " no you don't have to memorize all the formulas, what you need to do is to understand the concepts" The question next is how to understand the concepts. Physics concept are very abstract. you cannot see force, you can only feel and see the result of force. I try to make the concept as concrete as possible. I even open my car bonnet to show my students the radiator, sorry girls that all I can do, you cannot take it out because i still need to drive it to school. I encourage my girls to do experiments.

In my schooling years I loved doing experiments. When I was in standard 6, I nearly burn down my house because I was doing a so called experiment. When I looked at my mother's dried flower I make a hypothesis that the flower will catch fire if I put a lit up match near it. Trying to prove my hypothesis I took a match and lit it up, put it near my mother's dried flower and straight away the fire spread to the wall, panicked I go to the kitchen and get a jug of water and pour it to the fire. Lucky for me I was able to put off the fire, otherwise I won't be here to tell you the story. However I was unlucky because my mother reached home a few minutes later so I don't have time to hide the evidence . Come to think of it even if I can hid the flowers the wall is still black of soot.

Back to our topic, students need to experience the enjoyment of doing science especially physics. Encourage them to do experiments with stuff they can find at home, like ask them to bring their roller blade when you are teaching force and motion. let them feel the momentum when they move and the impulsive force when they hit the wall ( Please safety first). I tried this with my girls and some of them enjoy it but some prefer to stay in class and get as much knowledge as they can. I cannot blame them, because here in Malaysia it is not how the students enjoy the class but how many "A" they can get in their exams that matters. I understand the dilemma faced by teachers here, by august we must finished our syllabus and by September the students will be drilled with past years questions. Then when SPM result came out the students with good result are celebrated whereas students how fails are forgotten. Students are competing on who can get the most "A's" The record now is 21A's. My question to you is how can we help our students understand that getting so many "A's" will not means anything if they don't have good thinking skills, creativity and problem solving skills.

Earth Day

2008-04-20T19:50:00.000-07:00

Early one morning a friend of mine sms me saying that he visited my blog before he started work just to check on anything he can share with his friend. It really struck me, someone really did read what I write. So thank you to all my friends for their support. One friend said I should put more information. Well one info I would like to share with all of you is tomorrow is earth day

We only have one home that is the earth, if anything happened to it where can we go? We should all play our role to protect our earth. One small step we can take is to recycle, everybody can do it just by separating your garbage and throw it into the designated bin. Some might ask is it enough, can we make a different. Like I wrote before we can,by changing a person at a time. As teachers our responsibility is bigger we have to teach our future generation . So that if our students become policy makers they can consider leaving some resources for the next generation and to not do the same mistake we did. But is it to late for them, we've used up almost all the resources and we've done quite a major damages to the earth. So we have to ask our self what type of future are we leaving our kids and grandchildren. What else can we do? I am asking you and my self.

I had a dream

2008-04-18T19:44:00.000-07:00

I always wonder about dream, don't you ?. I know we dream in colours because once I dreamt a boy I really like gave me a red rose. Sometimes when I miss a TV show and it appears in my dream. I also dream about falling, once I dreamt I climbed a coconut tree and fall as reach the top of the tree and sometime falling from a balcony. Have you ever had those dream.

Have you ever had a dream , you are in a fight or an embarrassing situation and you try to defend your self but no word coming out of your mouth and you try to shout but your voice is stuck in your throat. I had those dream a few times. I read somewhere that dream is our subconscious mind trying to tell us something. May be it is true because being a Malay woman I was taught that I cannot talk back, I cannot freely voice out my dissatisfaction. But as I grew older I become more expressive, I am out of my cocoon. Even though sometimes I still keep things to my self but compared to went I was younger I was afraid to voice out my mind because I always think I might say the wrong thing or stupid things. Now I know we learn from our mistake, If we don't make mistake how can we improve ourself. You also must express your self than because if you don't you'll regret it. I had regrets before, I tried to voice out but I just cannot do it, and then the word keep playing in mind like a tape recorder being played over and over again. You should let people now what you think otherwise you will not make a difference.

But sometime in real life even if your voice out your thoughts it still does not make things happened like when your are not satisfied with what going on in the world with war, food crisis, inflation, child abuse and many other bad things . It will not stop even if you shout your heart out, but it doesn't matter if the politician cannot hear you, or the criminals will not listen to you, You must keep voicing out you mind because somewhere sometime people will listen and may be you can change the world one person at a time. What do you think? What dream you have at night ?

.

Back to the floor

2008-04-16T18:18:00.000-07:00

My study leave is going to be over soon. I will be either going back to school or to teachers' college, either or I'll go back to teaching. I remember when I was doing my first degree I told a friend of mine that I will not become a teacher, but now look at me I've been teaching for 7 years now. Teaching was not my passion, however on 1999 when my first baby is born I have to find a job that did not take a lot of my time. Then I thought hey why not go into teaching more holidays, short working hour. After that I got my Diploma in education an become a teacher. I don't fall in love with it immediately I was posted to my school an all girl school. My first year was disastrous my student ask question that i cannot answer, some student cut out of my class, I don't know how to control my students. My degree is Biology but I have to teach Physics so it was not my area of expertise. I lost my temper in class, I shouted to a student very loud I noticed some teachers came out of their classroom to look.

But I stick to it, on my second year I was the advisory for my schools' handball team and the Police cadets. Frankly speaking I was never into sport, so my girls practise on their own and we lost at the first round. My police cadets team is also not doing so well. I improve on my content knowledge. I was more prepared to class. I even thought of outside class activities for my students. I don't want my students to think that physics is something they can only learn in the lab. Fast forward a few years I began to enjoy teaching. I noticed that when the girls enjoyed their class I feel a satisfaction beyond explanation. I want my girls not only learn physics but also enjoy my class doing physics. When their SPM results came out I cannot sleep thinking how is my students doing in their SPM. I was no longer the handball team advisory but still a police cadets teacher. I enjoy being the police cadets teacher, I even became a commander for the district level and state level events. I teaches my girls and they also teaches me. Now I've fallen in love with teaching and with my girls. Sometimes I miss going to school and I even went to school just to check on the teacher who is replacing me. Even though I improve my content knowledge, I still thought to my self, what if my student want to know more and what if I am lost of ideas in teaching. That is the main reason why I took my masters degree in Physics education. First when I apply for my masters I was rejected because my degree is not related to physics but with my determination I was accepted but with one condition I have to join undergrad student for physics classes and I accept.

something i learned

2008-04-15T22:51:00.000-07:00

Technorati Profile

Check out my Slide Show!

2008-04-15T20:37:00.001-07:00

many comments

2008-04-15T19:07:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I've started telling my friends about my blog. I received many comments from them and I will try my best to improve this blog. One friend commented about me using english for my post, so I sms him back by saying that i wanted to improve my english. It's not that i don't like to use Bahasa Melayu but I really need to improve my english, since now I have to teach in english. As you can see my english is not excellent but as long as people can understand what I'm talking about that is fine with me. And also this friend of mine ask me to make a database of old friends. I hope that he can be very patient because i am very new to this blogging arena and still a lot to learn. However I will try to do it.

Another friend sms me asking when did my father died and then she inform me that her parent had died 2 years ago. We share our feelings about our parents. May Allah bless their soul Al Fatihah. I realise that blogging is not only about writing about things that is in your mind but it also can bring friends back together and at the same time you can get new friends. Before this I didn't have the courage to tell my friends about this blog and i hope people won't read my blog because I am afraid that people will find what i write as stupid. But now I really hope many people will stop by and read and give feed back on what i write.

attack!!!!!!!!

2008-04-14T23:05:00.000-07:00

My beautiful home is under attack. What should I do, what should I do. Should I scream or should I hide under the table. No I Should face it , I cannot show my fear. Today I take my first step that I should have taken weeks ago. I buy poison, yes poison to kill ha ha ha ( laughing loudly with evil looks on my face) my mission today is to kill, so i put the poison in a water sprinkler spraying it all over the windows, doors and all wooden furniture and am very tired now. I need to exercise more. Yes my friends termites have conquered my house. I cannot afford to hire pest control so it control it my self. Hope it works.

The culprit

my love

2008-04-13T18:20:00.000-07:00

i love teaching, i love looking at my students faces especially when their faces lit up when they understand my explanations, i love to see my students laugh when they enjoyed my class, i love my students as if they are my own children. I love the smell of grass when it's raining, I love looking at my children faces when they are sleeping. I love hearing my parent laughing, I love it when my husband smiling, I love my life I am blessed with so many wonderful things alhamdullilah.

It's over

2008-04-06T23:49:00.000-07:00

Fhew, may exam is over. Now i must concentrate on my thesis. On 28th May, I have to present my thesis proposal. I am going to do research on the effectiveness of problem based learning on the analysis, synthesise and evaluation skill ( higher order thinking skills according to bloom's taxanomy). I'll be focusing on the Archimedes principle from chapter 4 in form four physics. I am stuck at the measuring instrument. I cannot find any instruments to evaluate the level of these thinking skills. So I have to build my own instrument but if I do that than my instrument will have a very low reliability level. Hmm,What to, What to do. Well , I still have a month to figure the problem out. But first I have to do my take home exam, the due date is on 11 april.

Exam day

2008-04-03T20:37:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow is my exam day for quantum mechanics, keeping my fingers crossed. wish me luck i need the luck in the world to answer quantum mechanics questions. I've left my children since friday. I'm going to leave them for four days. my youngest was crying when i leave him. my other two kids still at school. well, in order for you to achieve something sometime you have to make sacrifices. hope my kids would understand. Insyaallah i'll finish my masters end of this year. After that i still don't have any idea whether to stay in school or try to work elsewhere. I am a goverment servant so my choice is actually limited. it is either school, teachers' college or to the education department. I love teaching so I won't be going to education department. So it leave my two choices school or teachers' college. at least i have till the end of the year to decide. hope i'll make the correct choice.

picture perfect

2008-04-01T23:14:00.001-07:00

this is a picture I received from my alumni group. A very interesting picture, if only I am able to capture such picture. Well how can I, I don't even have a camera. Lol

lazy day

2008-03-31T00:30:00.000-07:00

Have you ever had those days, you have many things to do, many important things. But instead of doing it, you do things that is least important. Well today is the day, my exam is only round the corner, instead of studying well I do stuff that is other than study. Actually I don't feel like doing anything. hmm what to write here. Ok, what about a picture of 'Kek Lapis Sarawak' I use to sell this type of cake during Ramadhan for hari raya. I also tried to make one last year but fail miserably. I put too much colouring and the cake taste like eggs. Last year was the the first Hari Raya without my father. Early morning we, my mother, my sister and our husbands and children went to my late fathers' grave. Everytime I try to write about my father, tears will start rolling on my cheek. I have a small family, my father only had two daughter, me and my younger sister. The last days of his life, my sister is the one who took care of him. I really wanted to bring him to my house but unfortunately I have to take care of my husband who just had an accident. He broke his spine and cannot move around much. Alhamdullilah he is getting better now. But he is out of work. well may be I should stop now.

2008-03-30T08:02:00.000-07:00

Looking at this face make my heart warms. He is quite a handful, this little pack of energy. We celebrate his birthday a bit early, two days early to be exact . Still always crying he cried twice today, but on average he is in a good mood. We started the day with a movies in the afternoon, we watched Waterhorse and i guess he is satisfy with the movie. We bought present for him, his brother and sister also get one to. Then we buy cake a chocolate indulgence a bit to creamy for my taste but, overall we enjoy ourselves today.Hmm his asleep now. and so will I in a few minutes.

2008-03-28T19:05:00.000-07:00

This Tuesday is my youngest sons' birthday. He is going to be six. My helper call him ahmad albab because he is always crying. Being the youngest he is a bit demanding. I don't think i pampered him but i guess he himself notice that nobody is younger than him in the family and that is why he is acting the way he is, but when he is with small children who is younger than him he can be very brotherly like. He already have a plan for his birthday from early in the morning till late at night. Looking at the picture I still remember when he is four he will scream frantically when the barber wanted to cut his hair. I would be sitting on the barber's chair holding him while he struggle and the barber nervously cuts his hair. but now he still don't like to get his hair cut but as yo can see he is smiling.

mother

2008-03-27T21:12:00.000-07:00

I receive this poem through my mail , my friend send it to me and i know most of it are true. my mother is still alive but my father passed away last year, he had Alzheimer's and his death is due to heart failure. How I wish I could spend more time with him. After he is gone I can sometimes see him laughing. he is a quiet person and very soft spoken. Oh how I miss him. When I was a little girl he always bring back goodies. he is a good father but I have not be a good daughter to him. I never try to really listen and understand him better. If only I can turn back time. I was his first baby and i know he was very proud of my. he will tell everybody he knows, about my achievements, i know this because someone told me years ago. I wish I have done more for him. all I can do now is pray for him and hope allah will forgive him of all his sin. alfatihah. abah i love you very much and I know you love me to. I know I am very much like him, quiet, shy but unlike him I had a chance to improve myself. My father was the only man in the house, when we his daughter called home we would always wanted to talk to mom, rather then him. I guess he felt lonely and unwanted.

it's me

2008-03-27T19:36:00.000-07:00

Today is my third attempt to open a blog. The first two attempts fail. i cannot find my blog on the net. hopefully this time, would be the last.

My life is normal, some people would say it's boring nothing very interesting ever happen. never been out of Malaysia. never won any lottery. but why am I building this blog, well may be to spice up my life a little bit. to share my thoughts with others hope people will see the world the way I see it.

ops something did happened I'm doing my masters degree in physics education. yea!!! me. but the most interesting part is my first degree is on applied biology. Come to think of it, I guess it's a suicidal mission. I've never learned physics since my matrics years. What am i doing taking physics and learning quantum mechanics. Really, I don't understand quantum mechanics everything is probability. Actually the first reason is, I've been teaching physics to high school students for 6 years and i really need to improve my knowledge in physics. I have to know more than my students.
well guess that is my story for now. hope i can find this blog to update my posting had my finger crossed