Barongan

Barongan is a traditional dance for javanese people. Last month we had a barongan dance for my cousin's wedding.
This dance is about a fight between good and evil and is influence by the hindusm religion.

Hi old friend

Long time no see old friend. Was I missed? I have abandoned you for more than a year, you must have thought that I have forgotten all about you. I also seemed to lost my touch, this is not easy for me to do. I have to think very hard to get words flowing out. I keep typing and erasing, but I am not giving up I will publish this post. I have to start  somehow.

What have been going in my life all this while, so many things had happened. First I remarried, Aisyah when to mrsm mersing, omar is getting bigger literally, amir is taller he is taller than me. I also had a miscarriage early this year. Ok so I had to go because the are work to be done next time I tell you everything that going on in my life. Bye see you soon

Beware of what you tell others

Sometimes good new can be very painful when it turns out to be false.  A friend of mine had to face such a misfortune event when a rumour that he will recieve an award as worker of the year had been circulating around yesterday which turn out to false. I can imagine the pain that he felt. Sometimes people can be cruel.
So my advice would be, please confirm yout stories before telling it others. Check the source of your stories.

Hi old friend

Suddenly I had the urge to check my old blog. It had been too long. All this while since I stop posting in this blog I also stop writing in english. Don't know if I still had it in me, my so called writing skill.  So many things had happened in my life. Since I stop writing, all my stories are kept secretly in my heart. My heart was hurt, and it also was healed. Funny how a small part of you cn bring so much pain when it got hurt. I cried when someone played with my heart, giving me hope lifting it very high and purposely drop it. How can a person do such thing to another person.

However I am very lucky for I was blessed with friends who love me for Allah and I can really felt that they cared for me. My broken heart is now slowly being mend and healing with the help of someone very special. Alhamdulillah praise to Allah for this person really care for me and I can feel it in my heart. I had so many things to be thankful for. I am blessed in many ways. Now I realise that there is a reason why Allah let me to meet the wrong person, so that I will appreciate when the right person comes along. Allah knows what best for you, have faith in him.

Aku dan dia,dia,dia........dan dia

Hari ni ubah bahasa sebab rasanya dah lama tak menulis dalam bahasa malaysia. Sebenarnya ini cubaan kali ke berapa entah untuk aku menulis dalam bahasa kebangsaan ini. Harap kali ini berjaya he he. Hmmm tapi apa nak tulis ek, (sambil menggaru kepala yang gatal merenyam, eh ada kutu ke).Aku ingat lagi masa sekolah rendah dulu, kutu penuh di kepala. Bagaimana memutihnya bunga lalang begitu putihnya telur kutu yang lekat dirambut . Siksa betul bila kepala berkutu ni, org tak nak dekat, dulu aku duduk di kawasan setinggan dan mandi air perigi mungkin disebabkan persekitaran yg sihat itu memanggil2 kutu2 untuk singgah lalu menetap dan bermustautin di kepala muda ku waktu itu. Masih jelas dlm ingatan jururawat datang ke sekolah aku dan menyapu ubat kutu dengan berus cat. Sewenang2nya kepala kami diberus seperti mengecat dinding lagaknya. Aduh simpati aku pada diri sendiri. Tetapi bila aku berpindah ke kawasan perumahan taman sri skudai, kutu2 yg membiak dengan jayanya seakan merajuk lalu membungkus kain baju meninggalkan kepala ku yg muda dan berambut pendek. Akhirnya aku bebas dari tambahan beberapa gram dari kutu2 yang menghuni kepala aku ni. Al kisah dizaman kanak2 aku dengan sahabat2 beribu yang begitu dekat dengan aku di atas batu jemala aku. Eh sejak bila lah pulak aku bersahabat dengan parasit ni. Pembetulan perkataan sahabat perlu ditukar dengan perkataan parasit pemunah bangsa dan agama he he. Asalamualaikum

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Wish you were here

being able to update my blog from anywhere should make me write more often, but it is not what had happened. still i don't know what to write, many things had happened and i don't know where to start. hish this small pad touch screen does not help either it doesn't want to cooperate with my huge fingers he he.

People said that time will heal every pain, they were wrong. These few days every single things that happened around me remind me of my late husband, I listen to his favourite song many times, listening and rewinding. How I wish you were here. We are just two lost soul swimming in a fish bowl, year after year, running over the same old ground, how we found same old fear. Wish you were here.

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something

I am in johor now. Everytime I went balik kg 1 of my agenda would be meeting old schoolmate. Friends on your school days sometimes can really be a very good friends. Oh my old handphone is spoilt because aisyah take for a swim in the pangkor beach. We went to pangkor with my late husband`s family. I am very close to them especially my sil she is a very nice lady. She really is a sister that I never had. Coming from a very small family, I really enjoyed being with my late husband`s family. Oh back to my spoilt handphone, I really felt.it was a blessing in disguised because now I bought a new one yuhooooo. I bought an android and now I van update my blog from anywhere wuhooooo. So hopefully I can brush up again my writing skill he he. Well it is just merely playing around with words but words do make people happy, sad or.even angry and it is true when people said that tounge are mightier (are there such word) than swords. Kay better stop now for my subuh prayer.

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For the rest of my life

Yesterday while cycling I listened to the songs in my handphone and there is one song by Maher Zain For the rest of my life

And there's a couple words I want to say
For the rest of my life
I'll be with you
I'll stay by your side honest and true
Till the end of my time
I'll be loving you. loving you
For the rest of my life
Thru days and night
I'll thank Allah for open my eyes
Now and forever I I'll be there for you
I know that deep in my heart
I feel so blessed when I think of you
And I ask Allah to bless all we do
You're my wife and my friend and my strength
And I pray we're together eternally
Now I find myself so strong
Everything changed when you came along

than it hits me these were the words my late husband use to say to me. he always say that I am a blessing for him. Thank god I stayed with him and supporting him until his last breath, Alhamdulillah. He use to call me his fourth baby the biggest baby in the house he he. I still remember on his last few hour his looks as if his getting better, he even teased me in front of his family he love to do that, may be because he love to see me smile in embarrassment. I am glad I was with him for the rest of his life, yes I was with him for the rest of his life. Alhamdulillah.

something

I've been staring at my lap top, typing and deleting. What should I write, so many things had happened and I don't know where to start. Should I write about work, or should I write about food instead. Hmm suddenly am feeling hungry he he, but I just ate Oh!. I've managed to lost 25 kg in 8 months. I control what I eat and exercise regularly. There is no short cut in losing weight I would say, because I've tried taking diet pills, diet drinks all fail, this is due to my failure to discipline myself . Eh but controlling intake of food and exercise need more discipline you might ask. Yes it does but somehow I managed to do it regularly and maintain it for 8 months. A big cheer for me yeaaaaaah. I do feel happier, and I guest I look younger ( he he you can disagree with me its a free world) ok, ok I feel younger, satisfied. when I weight 105 kg, yes I use to be very heavy, Obese. I always felt very tired, not active always sleepy. Now I am more energise, still heavy I am 80 kg now but lighter then before. My aim is to lose another 5 kg. I can do it, I know I can, I know I can tooot tooooot.

padang bulan

No matter how I want to sit down and write I will always find a reason not to, arghhhhh. Today I am determine, at least write something, anything, I have to start writing again. So being guilty for abandoning my passion I want to write about a book I've read, written by Andrea Hirata. I love his writing, love the way he plays around with words, how I wish I could write like him.

Andrea Hirata author of Lasykar pelangi had come with a new book entitled Padang bulan and cinta dalam gelas. He still maintain his cheekiness ( is there such word he he) in writing. A story about a women against all odds surviving after the death of her father. "Ajar aku benda yang paling sukar dan aku akan belajar"( teach me the hardest lesson and I will learn) is her moto in life. Ops! my class had started have to go.

Matter of the heart

Its been quite a long time since I last write in this blog. I do miss writing though, but just can't find the time to sit quietly and write. My house is no longer empty, My sister and her 2 kids and my mom are staying with me now ( guess i've told you about this he he, well I tend to repeat myself, may be it's a teacher thing). I also had the chance to visit Vietnam ( baby steps, baby steps....., like my late husband use to say slowly,slowly kill the monkey. I still don't have any idea why monkey not chicken or fish). My friends planned to go to Perth but I just cannot say anything about this because I have to ask my purse, hu hu sob, sob hope she says ok he he.

The kids are going strong Amir will be sitting for UPSR this year hope he can get good result, Aisyah is 14 now and not very easy to deal with. Omar still mama's boy he he cling to me like baby monkey cling to his mom... ooo I guess that is why my late husband say slowly,slowly kill the monkey he he. I am still , missing him. Still wish I could listen to his laughter, I even miss his cough ( he do cough a lot due to his illness).

As for myself I am also still going strong, no longer the library teacher, phew what a relieved, such a big reponsibility for my to handle. I am a class teacher, Police Cadet Cor teacher, Physics coordinator, physics lab coordinator, Sports clup teacher, and a few more I don't remember and don't want to remember because it would only remind me of the things I have not done.

Met old friends and some make some new friends and one of them is really close to my heart. However I don't think I can be with him.....

I hope 2011 bring more new experience. I welcome 2011 with an open arm and open heart. Eh am I too late, I guess it's better late then never.

Meeting old friends

I hope this old blog of mine still have readers for I've abandoned it like an abandon ship. Sunk and forgotten. I have no excuse for that, I just cannot say I don't have time since I have time to open my facebook. I cannot say blogging is no longer a passion of mine because blogging still gives me satisfaction because here is the place for me to write out my mind. May be I am out of ideas, because writing is not an easy thing to do ( hope some of you would agree with me, please!!!!). I admit I am guilty. I spend more time facebooking for one reason, I found many of my old friends, friends I thought would be impossible to find. Not only meeting them in cyber space some I meet in person and some we plan to meet outside the cyber space. Yuhoooo I am happy.

As we grow older, meeting old friends gives a big impact in our life's. Somehow meeting old friends make us feel younger even if it does not make us look younger(oh how I wish it does, because lately I've been meeting friends in my teens it would be nice to look like teenagers again). Well, sometimes looks had no meaning. Some might differ with me, some might think looks is important because it is the first thing people would notice about us, some might say looks is the window to our soul. Ops! my topic today is not about looks, it is about old friends, thousand apology. Jolly good sir, where was I, Oh! yes old friends make our heart sing old songs, it really gives us a feeling that is hard to describe. Funny thing was, looking at my friends picture, my first impression was, oh they look old, but looking at myself it really occur to me that I am also as old as them. How can I forget that I am old, may be all this while I am in a denial stage, denying that I am old. well I don't mind looking old, it only shows that I am wiser ( is it really the situation, ha ha). So to my old friends nice meeting you again, and looking forward to meet those whom I haven't met. Adios amigos

Enjoying life

I felt that after a very long time, I started to enjoy life again. I cycle everyday and on my kapcai vrooming here and there. I notice many of my friends found new passions, some love to run up to the point they entered running competition some enjoyed entering treasure hunts and some enjoyed travelling to many new places. As for me I really love to cycle but I don't think I would enter any cycling competitions he he. I just cannot cycle fast enough. And my dream is to travel around the world and travel around Malaysia on a bike, alone or with friends I just would not care.

My whole life I never been out of Malaysia except for once when I was 9 my mother took me to Singapore. I really hope one day I could travel out of Malaysia. My first destination would be Mecca performing umrah or haj. After that maybe I would start with Malaysia's neighbouring countries like Singapore and Indonesia. So how do I make my dream a reality. Any suggestions my friends

Hari guru 2010

Hari ini rasanya aku nak ubah bahasa kepada Bahasa Malaysia dan mungkin lepas ni akan diselang selikan bahasa dengan bahasa Inggeris. sekurang-kurangnya dapat aku memantapkan penggunaan kedua-dua bahasa. Selepas membaca karya andrea hirata penulis dari indonesia itu aku menjadi teringin untuk menulis dalam Bahasa Malaysia. jadi ini akan menjadi permulaannya.

Hari guru tahun ini bertemakan hitam, putih dan emas, kombinasi yang sangat pelik. Kenapa aku katakan pelik, kerana kami bukan menyambutnya di hotel tetapi di tengah tapak perhimpunan yang amatlah panasnya kalau panas dan amatlah basahnya kalau hujan. warna emas akan memantul-mantulkan sinaran matahari pada hari yang panas. Ish tak sanggup aku mengalami situasi itu. Aku dan kawan-kawan telah cuba sedaya upaya untuk mencari baju yang memenuhi tema itu, hmm bukan satu tugas yang mudah untuk mencari baju yang berwarna emas di Malaysia ni. Akhirnya kami berpakat untuk memakai baju yang berwarna coklat dengan manik-manik emas. pada mulanya kami bertiga berpakat untuk memakai baju yang sama tetapi pada saat akhir salah seorang rakan aku telah belot.

Pada hari kejadian cuaca sangat elok tiada panas dan tiada hujan, mungkin allah tahu apa yang bergelodak dibenak kami. Tetapi aku merasakan sambutan pada tahun ini agak kurang meriah. entahlah mungkin itu cuma perasaan aku sahaja. Dengan ini aku persembahkan gambar yang sempat dicuri pada sambutan hari guru tahun ini.Inilah masanya untuk para pelajar membuli cikgu-cikgu mereka. bermacam permainan yang agak tidak munasabah mereka rancang untuk kami
Itulah dia siapa yang suruh datang tak bawak kerusi sendiri. Pn Yusnita dan Pn Faizatul bermain kerusi bermuzik.
siapalah seorang guru tanpa anak muridnya. bersama dengan pelajar-pelajr 5S1
senyuman ini mungkin khas untuk seseorang, mungkin juga siapa tahukan.


jangan cepat sangat membuat andaian, ini gambar bersama dengan adik kesayangan kami semua
Ini lah rakan-rakan seperjuangan yang sama sekepala.
bersama salah seorang pengawas, Salwah Rosdi
Kami semua hantu kamera, pantang ada peluang ntah kamera siapa masuk je.Tapi kenapa yang dua lagi tu duduk bersembunyi di belakang aku ye. saje nak nampak kuruslah tu. (Mek Zu, Hasiah tak de maknanya korang duduk sembunyi belakang aku, ini namanya tak dapat terima kenyataan kalau badan tu dah makin naik)
Sedondon sama sepasang, inlah dia three stooges yang kehilangan seorang ahli yang belot
Kawan-kawan semeja. Pn Hasiah Ramli (dialah yang belot he he sorry ye hasiah terkutuk engkau), Pn Norizan, Pn Zunaidah, Pn Sharifah madinah, Pn Zu Aniza (inilah penerima guru paling anggun seisi pagi) dan yang duduk tu siapa lagi kalau bukan akuleh tu. sekian saja persembahan untuk hari ini. Sampai jumpa lagi. Asalamualaikum

Another lost

My brother in law had passed away last Saturday morning after suffering from colon cancer for more than a year. He spent his last few months bedridden.My sister was with him till his last breath. Her children were younger than my mine when my husband died. Her daughter Nana is 8, same age as Omar and her son Danish is 4. Danish is still very young to understand what had happened, but he did ask my sister late in the evening " mama, where is papa". Now our small family had become even smaller with only 3 widower and 5 orphans.

Sometimes it is hard not to feel inferior to others when all you had to give are bad news. I did tell a friend of mine that she had changed, I had no other intention just to tell her how I felt. I know I upset her and I am sorry for what I did, but sometimes when you went through so many hardship in life you tend to be unpleasant to other people especially to your friends. sometimes you become jealous of what they had, I am happy for my friends when they are happy and have a good life, I do but sometimes deep inside me I felt lonely, envy and I felt that my friends don't deserved to be with me for I will only bring bad news and dark cloud to them. So for those whose heart I hurt please forgive me, I never intended to make you unhappy when you wanted to share your happiness with me, it's just me.

Series of unfortunate events

This loyal car of mine has a series of unfortunate events these few weeks. Firstly it was hit by a car. When people say you cannot stop from things to happened they sure are not joking. Because on that day and on that particular time a lady who had stopped driving for 7 year decided to drive her car and also at that particular time I took my sons to have a hair cut ( I've been postponing this for a few weeks). So when our car went face-to face the lady's car decided to touch my car door. What can I do but just look at her looking at me but did not stop her car. I keep my coolness I did not shout at her or use forbidden words. Waited for her to reverse her car, but her car just won't budge.

What the ****(please fill in with the word that you feel is suitable) is she doing. so I got out from my car( How do I manage to get out from my car if she hit my car door which is obviously on the driver's side you might think, It is not easy I have to say) , she also came out from her car and slowly she said, Kak, can you move my car. What! now I had to move her car, actually I pity her, her face is so pale and I saw her children are in the car and also her mother is in it too. I get in her car and reverse it. To make a long story short, she promise to pay for my car damages which had been repaired except for the paint job because I need to use the car.

A week later another unfortunate event happened which involve my car and an Ice lorry. However this story have to wait because I need to get my children to take a bath now. So see you soon.

To potong or not to potong

Yes another re run on broadband. I really had it with mobile broadband. To potong is not my choice because I am already terpotong. As I told you before, my case with Telekom Malaysia, where they refuse to stand another telephone pole near my house since there are only two houses left without fixed line connection. So, I had to use mobile broadband for my internet connection. My first experience with mobile broadband is with Digi, I guess the yellow ghost don't work with Internet because the speed is so slow, I can sleep while downloading and after I woke up my computer still hadn't finish. Then I turn to Celcom, this time it is a bit better, still I wasn't satisfied with the speed, very slow, but this time when I woke up my computer had finish downloading.

May be the known telecommunication co had problem in handling demands, that was what I thought when I change to U mobile. I was their first few customer I presumed because every time I mentioned that I am using U mobile people would ask me, "what is that?". Some thought it is a product from Digi. Excuse me after my experience with Digi, do you really think I would use their product again. U mobile seldom gave me any problem, I used it for two years and I really got a good bargain, because I only need to paid RM 50 to get the USB modem and RM 78 monthly, nothing else. I also am satisfied with the speed for I can watch U tube now even though I still need to wait a few minutes for it to be fully downloaded. However, there is one big glitch, the warranty for the USB modem is only one year. and at exactly the 2nd year my modem is broken. So I decided to change to P1Wimax. So I Potong even though I am already terpotong. Now 2 computer can connect to the net simultaneously ( this I like because less fighting in the house on whose turn to go online). However even though now I am paying more then U mobile which is RM 99 per month, I am really not satisfied with the service because now the speed is slow and also the connection is always interrupted. Arrghh, I had 2 years contract with them so I have to be very patient for this 2 years before I can change to another broadband provider.

gossips

Have you ever gossip about your teachers or lecturers, or should I rephrase it to, who haven't gossip about their teachers or lecturer. I caught my girls gossiping about their teachers in facebook. hmm I guess they forgot they are my fb friends. So, to my girls be careful what you write in your fb, for I might be lurking like a snake in a bush. I was in their shoe once, so I understand but a reminder to my girls teachers are human to, they have feelings. It is okay to gossip about teachers but don't get too carried away. I remember my teachers, some really gave a big impact, some just filling in a chapter in my life. My dream is to be a teacher who can make a change in my students life, however it is not an easy things to do. I give my all when I am teaching, somehow it seems not enough.

office politics

As you grow older life seems more complicated. The person you thought is your friend might be your biggest enemy. It is even harder to trust people, they might stab you at the back anytime. I remember as a student, friends are the person whom I will turn to, when I had a problem.

I have no problem being friends with anyone, but never to close, not like when I was studying. When you befriend with everybody, it is confusing because people seems to want you to be on their side. I am the quiet type of person, I love to listen rather than talk and I guest it is the reason why I can get along with anybody. When people said bad things about other people I just let it passed through me. I also had hearing problem, I can't hear well( guess it come with age and listening to walkman during my younger day has it's effect) , in this case it is a blessing because when people talk about others I just nod but the truth is I just cannot hear clearly what they are talking about.

Office politics is a very dangerous thing, it can make your working life miserable and even worse it can jeopardise your job. Some people can be so cruel and very selfish, and most dangerously when these type of people started to gang up. They can say nice things to you but 2o minutes later they trash you out behind your back.

Have you ever met such people?

facebook anyone

I've joined facebook, so when the school session started my students would say " hah teacher you have facebook ye" many of them had became my friends, many of them were my ex-students whom i have lost contact with. It is amazing how small the world had became, no matter where you are, you can still be in contact with anybody you want and sometimes it feel as if they are next door.

Even though facebook amaze me, somehow for some reasons I seems to not be able to write there. I don't know what to write there. Some people write almost everything they did everyday, some just want to show off their loved ones, some love to send hugs and kisses like zanas ( thanks for all the hugs and kisses, I 'm still waiting for the scrapbook though). As for me it seems to be nothing interesting to share even when if there is, I would prefer to blog about it.

One of the reasons why I don't like to write updates on facebook is because all my friend are there, my students are there, my ex school mate are there my ex collage mate are they my blogger friends are there hmm everybody are there so I felt a bit inferior may be because my life is not as interesting and as successful as them. I use to be a shy and timid person and still is I guess. I am more comfortable with my blogger friends.

So what about you , what do feel about facebook.