Imperfection

I cried every time I watch this ad. Really it is the small things that I remember, the little imperfection that make him perfect for me.

Andai ku tahu

Aku takut akan semua dosa-dosa ku,
aku takut dosa yang terus membayangi ku

mumbling

I broke my own promise to my self, because I promise my self to write more posting in my blog but I broke it. What can I do, I am only human or can we say to err is human as an excuse to break promises, to come late or to make mistakes. When are we going to start and put the blame on ourselves. Being human is not an excuse to make mistakes because if it is, what about animals are there not allowed to make mistake or do they make mistake, hmmm now I wonder do animal make mistake, What do you think? But to think of it we have the ability to think better, we have the ability to feel emitions, then why can't we take responsibilty of our own mistake why do we say it is normal for human to make mistake. Sorry to write nonsense well what can I say I am only human.

Finally

Yeah!!! Finally I submitted my project paper for my masters today. Yoooooo hooooo. Alhamdullilah I nearly gave up but with the encouragement from my family and my husband's family finally I succeeded. Hopefully I can continue blogging after this, I felt free, felt like jumping around.

Today on my way back from Tanjung Malim I saw someone really resemble my late husband, I nearly hit a BMW trying to take a glance at him. Really missed him, somehow felt a part of me missing.

So hope to see you all soon.

Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term.

 The answer by one student was so 'profound' that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course,  why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well :

 Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

 Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle 's Law
(gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

 One student, however, wrote the following:

 First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely
assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today.

 Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their
religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one
of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.
With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle 's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

 1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will
increase until all Hell breaks loose.

 2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in
Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

 So which is it?

 If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, 'It will be a cold day in Hell before I
sleep with you,' and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over!
The corollary of this theory  is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct..... .leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why,  last night, Teresa kept shouting 'Oh my God.'

 THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+.

 Are you laughing ??????

Another sad news

Last week my BIL went for an operation due to blocked intestine. So my sister took care of him while I stay with the kids at home. I was supposed to brought the kids after the operation. around three my sister called crying, I automatically suspect something really bad had happened and the news was the operation went well but my BIL is diagnosed with colon cancer stage 4 and the doctor predict with chemotherapy he can live for one or two years.

I rushed to the hospital, my sister was crying and when she saw me she ask why did god test us like this, first my father then my husband and now her husband. I have no answer to that, but I told her that we should not question god's will. We should be thankful that the operation went well and her husband is still alive. The doctor can predict but everything is Allah's will. When I got home her children keep asking for her and their father. My niece is now in standard one same like Omar and her brother is only 4 years old, still to young to understand what is happening.

I hope my sister can be strong for her husband and children, unlike me she is pampered during childhood. Now I am trying my best to find her a job because she need to be able to support herself and her children if the worse happen. Her husband is going to need constant attention and support. One big problem now is her husband refuse to undergo chemotherapy.

I am a bad mother

How do you feel if someone says that your fail to raise your own kids and that someone is your own mother. I love my mother, i do, but sometimes things that she said just make me want to arggggh. I don't know whether I should continue writing or must I stop. I know it is not good to say bad things of your own mother but comparing me with her, with how she raise us and how badly i did with my own kids is not fair. May be I am not as strict as she use to be with me, may be I have to keep repeating to my children, may be sometimes they did not do the things I asked them to do promptly, but does that make me a bad mother. I am always under pressure every time my mother come compared to when my MIL visit me.

I don't know why I did not do a good job in raising my kids, i don't know why I fail but mak don't you think I tried. Mak how would you feel if when you scolded your son, he cried and hid behind the cupboard and begging for his father to comeback. I stop scolding them since that, instead I asked them softly, may be I have to repeat, may be I have to remind them many times but I know my children will do the things I said eventually. I am sorry mak, I know you meant good. I know I am who I am now because of you and I am grateful that I have you as a mother, but don't you think I know my children better. Please let me raise them my own way.