Thursday, October 29, 2009

You want me to do what?

Hmm, a friend of mine ask me to be her spy. She ask me to spy on her husband. Should I do it, should I not. She came to me asking if I want to have a free meal at a restaurant, which I immediately agree( well I think that is what most of us would do, wouldn't you). But it turn out, she is paying me to spy her husband there.
What! Spy on your husband. What if he saw me, you know your husband knows me don't you.

Alah Rita, just act casual lah. By the way you must take their picture use your handphone lah.

Weh! are you carzy how am I going take the picture, I cannot simply take picture of him and his friend. Or may be I would just go to them and politely ask their permission to snap their picture. Can I do that he, he.

Rita, pleaselah and one more think don't tell anybody. (Alamak I already told you, I think this does not count as you don't know her kan)

You really are crazy, don't you trust your husband, apparently not.

Rita promise me you are not going to tell anybody.

Oklah but I have to think it over. i'll tell you later OK.

That' better, Ok Rita

So should I do it?

Thursday, October 22, 2009

My sister

This year is not a good year for my sister. As I had wrote earlier this year, her husband is diagnosed with colon cancer and it had already reached stage 4. Now her husband had been in and out of the hospital. My sister now had a job alhamdullilah. Whenever her husband is in the hospital she will sleep at the hospital and go to work form hospital. Really I pity her, not only because of her husband's condition but also with her financial situation. Her debt now is to big to handle. The banks kept calling her.
Her daughter , Nana is 7 , same age as Omar however she looks more matured than her age. From the way she talk, you can sense that she is worried about her father, thinking of her future. She is overprotective of her little brother. I also noticed that she is much more thinner than before, when asked why she don't want to eat, she would say that she just don't feel like eating. Her exam result also deteriorate, she would say that she is worried of her father.
As for my children they did not saw they father suffers, but my niece and nephew see their father's condition deteriorating. My BIL is very weak and thin and now in the hospital.
Now all we can do is to pray things will be better for them. Sometimes I feel helpless for I cannot do anything for them. I once tought of withdrawing my late husband's money to pay for my sister's debt but my friends advice me not to do it because that money is not mine, instead it is my children's and it is a big sin if I do that. So I did not proceed with it.

Thursday, September 3, 2009

Don't you want to remarry

Don't you want to be married again, it seems that, it is the question I get a lot lately. Just last week the same question came out from my mother's mouth, really caught me by surprise. Frankly I like the way life is going right now. Even though it is not easy to raise 3 growing children on my own, I found life is simpler this way.

Furthermore If I married again will my new partner love my children and will we be happy. My MIL also post the same question not to me but to my mother. It seems that she is interested to partner me with my brother in law who is coincidentally still single. To me, it is a bit weird and also at the same time funny. Luckily she did not ask me personally because I would not know how to answer her. Somehow I can still feel the present of my late husband so i guess I am still not ready. Yes that would be my answer.

Monday, June 15, 2009

Imperfection

I cried every time I watch this ad. Really it is the small things that I remember, the little imperfection that make him perfect for me.

Friday, May 29, 2009

Andai ku tahu

Aku takut akan semua dosa-dosa ku,
aku takut dosa yang terus membayangi ku

Monday, May 25, 2009

mumbling

I broke my own promise to my self, because I promise my self to write more posting in my blog but I broke it. What can I do, I am only human or can we say to err is human as an excuse to break promises, to come late or to make mistakes. When are we going to start and put the blame on ourselves. Being human is not an excuse to make mistakes because if it is, what about animals are there not allowed to make mistake or do they make mistake, hmmm now I wonder do animal make mistake, What do you think? But to think of it we have the ability to think better, we have the ability to feel emitions, then why can't we take responsibilty of our own mistake why do we say it is normal for human to make mistake. Sorry to write nonsense well what can I say I am only human.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Finally


Yeah!!! Finally I submitted my project paper for my masters today. Yoooooo hooooo. Alhamdullilah I nearly gave up but with the encouragement from my family and my husband's family finally I succeeded. Hopefully I can continue blogging after this, I felt free, felt like jumping around.

Today on my way back from Tanjung Malim I saw someone really resemble my late husband, I nearly hit a BMW trying to take a glance at him. Really missed him, somehow felt a part of me missing.

So hope to see you all soon.

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term.

 The answer by one student was so 'profound' that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course,  why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well :

 Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

 Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle 's Law
(gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

 One student, however, wrote the following:

 First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely
assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today.

 Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their
religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one
of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.
With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle 's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

 1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will
increase until all Hell breaks loose.

 2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in
Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

 So which is it?

 If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, 'It will be a cold day in Hell before I
sleep with you,' and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over!
The corollary of this theory  is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct..... .leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why,  last night, Teresa kept shouting 'Oh my God.'

 THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+.

 Are you laughing ??????




Monday, March 16, 2009

Another sad news

Last week my BIL went for an operation due to blocked intestine. So my sister took care of him while I stay with the kids at home. I was supposed to brought the kids after the operation. around three my sister called crying, I automatically suspect something really bad had happened and the news was the operation went well but my BIL is diagnosed with colon cancer stage 4 and the doctor predict with chemotherapy he can live for one or two years.

I rushed to the hospital, my sister was crying and when she saw me she ask why did god test us like this, first my father then my husband and now her husband. I have no answer to that, but I told her that we should not question god's will. We should be thankful that the operation went well and her husband is still alive. The doctor can predict but everything is Allah's will. When I got home her children keep asking for her and their father. My niece is now in standard one same like Omar and her brother is only 4 years old, still to young to understand what is happening.

I hope my sister can be strong for her husband and children, unlike me she is pampered during childhood. Now I am trying my best to find her a job because she need to be able to support herself and her children if the worse happen. Her husband is going to need constant attention and support. One big problem now is her husband refuse to undergo chemotherapy.

Friday, March 6, 2009

I am a bad mother

How do you feel if someone says that your fail to raise your own kids and that someone is your own mother. I love my mother, i do, but sometimes things that she said just make me want to arggggh. I don't know whether I should continue writing or must I stop. I know it is not good to say bad things of your own mother but comparing me with her, with how she raise us and how badly i did with my own kids is not fair. May be I am not as strict as she use to be with me, may be I have to keep repeating to my children, may be sometimes they did not do the things I asked them to do promptly, but does that make me a bad mother. I am always under pressure every time my mother come compared to when my MIL visit me.

I don't know why I did not do a good job in raising my kids, i don't know why I fail but mak don't you think I tried. Mak how would you feel if when you scolded your son, he cried and hid behind the cupboard and begging for his father to comeback. I stop scolding them since that, instead I asked them softly, may be I have to repeat, may be I have to remind them many times but I know my children will do the things I said eventually. I am sorry mak, I know you meant good. I know I am who I am now because of you and I am grateful that I have you as a mother, but don't you think I know my children better. Please let me raise them my own way.

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Neglected

I've been neglecting my blog for nearly a month. Why? I can give many excuses but the main reason is my laziness, furthermore I am only human. Another reason is I have a full house. Hmm full house you might ask, it is literally full house.

My sister , her family and her maid is staying with me now and I rented one room to a new teacher who just posted to my school. Sometimes my mother came and visit us. My sister had been staying with me for nearly a month and the new teacher rented the room for two months. My house has four rooms and all room are occupied. Some of you might say, how can I cope with so many people in my house but actually the truth is I like the situation now.

First of all I don't have to worry about my children because when they reach home my sister and her maid is in the house to look after them, my mind are at ease. My house is lively like it used to be (because after my husband's death, my house was not the same, it is quiet no more laughter). Now with 11 people in the house , it is alive again.

However I have to compete with my sister to use the internet Arrrgh. He he he

Saturday, February 7, 2009

Second phase

Thanks for all the positive comments, really boost my spirit. Make me want to do more for my girls. So this is the second phase of what we have done. Some teacher said it looks more like a kindergarten, but when I ask my girls they love it and well to me that is more important. With limited resources this is what we had achieved so far.
As for the blog I already open an account and I've link it to sites that I felt useful for my girls and my colleagues and it is fully in bahasa. Only for entries on Thursday is in English because it is English day. However I am having problem in changing the header picture. I wanted to make the picture I took as the header but somehow it is not so easy.

Now I need to solve another problem, good books keep missing from the resource center aka library. The library had faced this problem for a long time. Every time new books coming in, it went missing. So as the solution the previous teacher hid the books in the processing room. I don't want to do that, what is the use of buying new books if the girls cannot make full use of it. So any ideas. He he he I am getting free consultation from my fellow blogger hope you don't mind.



Tuesday, February 3, 2009

The first phase

I would like to thank all of you for your ideas regarding my school library. I am in the process of trying to make the library a more inviting place for my students and also in the process to fully automated the library system ( two teachers before me tried but fail). These are the result of nearly a month of hard and dirty work. Now I am in the process of planning a section for recreational reading, where the students can sit on the floor and read. These are the first phase photos so wait for the second phase

The square table around the world

This arrangement came from one of my librarian

I also plan to open a blog for my library so that my students can view the latest books and also they can give their comments. I hope with this method I can encourage my students to use the internet and to give them the chance to voice out what type of books they wanted to read. So what do you think?

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Amir's birthday


Today 29 th January is Amir's birthday, but this not about Amir's birthday it is a day before it. We went to Port Dickson on that very day. Aisyah is suppose to be in school, however she is not , he he. Whatlah her mother is a teacher yet .......... ( so please fill in the blank with your own word I just don't have the heart to write it)

Actually this is our first real outing after my husband's death. We went with my sister her children and my mother even though she just undergo a knee operation she insisted on going
( so mak don't complain ya). Amir said this is the best birthday ever ( we actually celebrated his birthday on that day because I can't afford to make my kids miss two schooling days, can I?)

All five children looking at the horizon I presumed

I wonder who's boat is this

This is how titanic suppose to end

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Do you remember the time

It's time for cross country , but as for me, can I say cross town because my school is in town. The event started at 7.30 . I was in charge of listing out the winners. Here are some of the photos I captured, hope you can feel the spirit and who knows it would take you back to your school years. Somehow being a teacher always makes me feel younger.The warming up sessions.

The winner for under fifteen, a petite form 2 girl, her time 26 minutes and 46 seconds


My librarian selling candies and drinks for their club fund


The St John's girls, reporting for duty

St John's girls in action


The girls cheering their teammates,

The winning team, rumah Ledang the yellow house. My sport house only manage to get fourth place sob, sob, sob

HAPPY RETIREMENT

. Pn Rumyati, Pn Hasiah, Pn Badariah, Mr Chong, Yours truly and Datin Lata.

Last week one of my fellow teacher from my school Mr Chong, has retired. We celebrated his retirement in school with all the students and for teachers the Holiday In Glenmarie Shah Alam .

When I asked him what is his immediate plan after retiring he said he is going to teach in a private college. Wah! Mr Chong you just retired and you still wanted to teach hah. Well I haven't recieved my gratuitylah and my mrs is still working. Oooo. Anyway Mr Chong I wish him Happy retirement.

Mr Chong to me is like a brother I never had and also a mobile infomation centre because I can ask him anything regarding the teaching profession. He is also for ever ready to lend us his helping hand.

I doubt that he will be reading this because non of my colleagues in school know the existence of this blog. Last year when I was reading my friend's blog one teacher asked me what was I doing, and I told her I was reading a blog, she said to me those people have nothing good to do hah, wasting time in front of their computer. I defended my fellow bloggers by saying that blogger don't waste time, and said blogging connect us to the world. But I just don't want to waste my time trying to explain things she would not understand. Sometimes people are just not open minded even though they are supposed to be the window to the world for their students.

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

fourth day of school

It is the fourth day of school. The kids are now getting more familiar with the routine. I pity them though for they have to walk everyday back from school in the hot afternoon and rush to prepare themselves and walk to the religious school after that.Despite all that the kids never complain. Sometimes I felt so helpless for I cannot make their life easier. I can only hope these hardship can make them stronger to face the cruel world.

Omar is happy because now he get pocket money, RM 1 for the morning school and RM 1 for the afternoon school. He told me he wanted to save the money to buy toys as I told my kids if they wanted to buy toys or anything other than food or books they have to save their own money.

As for me I am still teaching Physics and also was appointed as the library teacher. Now my friends I really need an advice on how to make my school library more conducive and inviting. As you can see here the library is sooo dull and the lighting is dim.

Saturday, January 3, 2009

Outlandish Look Into My Eyes

( I saw a father carrying his injured daughter on the paper this morning my heart broke into thousand pieces . Can anybody answer me when will this stop} and then someone mailed me this song.


Look into my eyes
Tell me what you see
You don't see a damn thing
'cause you can't relate to me
You're blinded by our differences
My life makes no sense to you
I'm the persecuted one
You're the red, white and blue

Each day you wake in tranquility
No fears to cross your eyes
Each day I wake in gratitude
Thanking God He let me rise
You worry about your education
And the bills you have to pay
I worry about my vulnerable life
And if I'll survive another day
Your biggest fear is getting a ticket
As you cruise your Cadillac
My fear is that the tank that has just left
Will turn around and come back

Yet, do you know the truth of where your money goes?
Do you let the media deceive your mind?
Is this a truth nobody, nobody, nobody knows?
Has our world gone all blind?

Yet, do you know the truth of where your money goes?
Do you let the media deceive your mind?
Is this a truth nobody, nobody, nobody knows?
Someone tell me ...

Ooohh, let's not cry tonight
I promise you one day it's through
Ohh my brothers, Ohh my sisters
Ooohh, shine a light for every soul that ain't with us no more
Ohh my brothers, Ohh my sisters

See I've known terror for quite some time
57 years so cruel
Terror breathes the air I breathe
It's the checkpoint on my way to school
Terror is the robbery of my land
And the torture of my mother
The imprisonment of my innocent father
The bullet in my baby brother
The bulldozers and the tanks
The gases and the guns
The bombs that fall outside my door
All due to your funds
You blame me for defending myself
Against the ways of my enemies
I'm terrorized in my own land (what)
And I'm the terrorist?

Yet, do you know the truth of where your money goes?
Do you let the media deceive your mind?
Is this a truth nobody, nobody, nobody knows?
Has our world gone all blind?

Yet, do you know the truth of where your money goes?
Do you let the media deceive your mind?
Is this a truth nobody, nobody, nobody knows?
Someone tell me ...

Ooohh, let's not cry tonight, I promise you one day it's through
Ohh my brothers, Ohh my sisters,
Ooohh, shine a light for every soul that ain't with us no more
Ohh my brothers, Ohh my sisters,

Thursday, January 1, 2009

Alphabets of happiness

* A--Accept *
Accept others for who they are and for the choices they've made even
if you have difficulty understanding their beliefs, motives, or
actions.

*B--Break Away *
Break away from everything that stands in the way of what you hope to
accomplish with your life.

*C--Create *
Create a family of friends whom you can share your hopes, dreams,
sorrows, and happiness with.

*D--Decide *
Decide that you'll be successful and happy come what may, and good
things will find you. The roadblocks are only minor obstacles along
the way.

*E--Explore *
Explore and experiment. The world has much to offer, and you have much
to give. And every time you try something new, you'll learn more about
yourself.

*F--Forgive *
Forgive and forget. Grudges only weigh you down and inspire
unhappiness and grief. Soar above it, and remember that everyone makes
mistakes.

*G--Grow *
Leave the childhood monsters behind. They can no longer hurt you or
stand in your way.

*H--Hope *
Hope for the best and never forget that anything is possible as long
as you remain dedicated to the task.

*I--Ignore *
Ignore the negative voice inside your head. Focus instead on your
goals and remember your accomplishments. Your past success is only a
small inkling of what the future holds.

*J--Journey*
Journey to new worlds, new possibilities, by remaining open-minded.
Try to learn something new every day, and you'll grow.

*K--Know *
Know that no matter how bad things seem, they'll always get better.
The warmth of spring always follows the harshest winter.

*L--Love *
Let love fill your heart instead of hate. When hate is in your heart,
there's room for nothing else, but when love is in your heart, there's
room for endless happiness.

*M--Manage *
Manage your time and your expenses wisely, and you'll suffer less
stress and worry. Then you'll be able to focus on the important things
in life.

*N--Notice *
Never ignore the poor, infirm, helpless, weak, or suffering. Offer
your assistance when possible, and always your kindness and
understanding.

*O--Open *
Open your eyes and take in all the beauty around you. Even during the
worst of times, there's still much to be thankful for.

*P--Play *
Never forget to have fun along the way. Success means nothing without
happiness.

*Q--Question *
Ask many questions, because you're here to learn.

*R--Relax *
Refuse to let worry and stress rule your life, and remember that
things always have a way of working out in the end.

*S--Share *
Share your talent, skills, knowledge, and time with others. Everything
that you invest in others will return to you many times over.

*T--Try *
Even when your dreams seem impossible to reach, try anyway. You'll be
amazed by what you can accomplish.

*U--Use *
Use your gifts to your best ability. Talent that's wasted has no
value. Talent that's used will bring unexpected rewards.

*V--Value *
Value the friends and family members who've supported and encouraged
you, and be there for them as well.

*W--Work *
Work hard every day to be the best person you can be, but never feel
guilty if you fall short of your goals. Every sunrise offers a second
chance.

*X--X-Ray *
Look deep inside the hearts of those around you and you'll see the
goodness and beauty within.

*Y--Yield *
Yield to commitment. If you stay on track and remain dedicated, you'll
find success at the end of the road.

*Z--Zoom *
Zoom to a happy place when bad memories or sorrow rear a ugly head.


From Zaiton Md Noh USM Alumni group