Aku dan dia,dia,dia........dan dia

Hari ni ubah bahasa sebab rasanya dah lama tak menulis dalam bahasa malaysia. Sebenarnya ini cubaan kali ke berapa entah untuk aku menulis dalam bahasa kebangsaan ini. Harap kali ini berjaya he he. Hmmm tapi apa nak tulis ek, (sambil menggaru kepala yang gatal merenyam, eh ada kutu ke).Aku ingat lagi masa sekolah rendah dulu, kutu penuh di kepala. Bagaimana memutihnya bunga lalang begitu putihnya telur kutu yang lekat dirambut . Siksa betul bila kepala berkutu ni, org tak nak dekat, dulu aku duduk di kawasan setinggan dan mandi air perigi mungkin disebabkan persekitaran yg sihat itu memanggil2 kutu2 untuk singgah lalu menetap dan bermustautin di kepala muda ku waktu itu. Masih jelas dlm ingatan jururawat datang ke sekolah aku dan menyapu ubat kutu dengan berus cat. Sewenang2nya kepala kami diberus seperti mengecat dinding lagaknya. Aduh simpati aku pada diri sendiri. Tetapi bila aku berpindah ke kawasan perumahan taman sri skudai, kutu2 yg membiak dengan jayanya seakan merajuk lalu membungkus kain baju meninggalkan kepala ku yg muda dan berambut pendek. Akhirnya aku bebas dari tambahan beberapa gram dari kutu2 yang menghuni kepala aku ni. Al kisah dizaman kanak2 aku dengan sahabat2 beribu yang begitu dekat dengan aku di atas batu jemala aku. Eh sejak bila lah pulak aku bersahabat dengan parasit ni. Pembetulan perkataan sahabat perlu ditukar dengan perkataan parasit pemunah bangsa dan agama he he. Asalamualaikum

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Wish you were here

being able to update my blog from anywhere should make me write more often, but it is not what had happened. still i don't know what to write, many things had happened and i don't know where to start. hish this small pad touch screen does not help either it doesn't want to cooperate with my huge fingers he he.

People said that time will heal every pain, they were wrong. These few days every single things that happened around me remind me of my late husband, I listen to his favourite song many times, listening and rewinding. How I wish you were here. We are just two lost soul swimming in a fish bowl, year after year, running over the same old ground, how we found same old fear. Wish you were here.

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something

I am in johor now. Everytime I went balik kg 1 of my agenda would be meeting old schoolmate. Friends on your school days sometimes can really be a very good friends. Oh my old handphone is spoilt because aisyah take for a swim in the pangkor beach. We went to pangkor with my late husband`s family. I am very close to them especially my sil she is a very nice lady. She really is a sister that I never had. Coming from a very small family, I really enjoyed being with my late husband`s family. Oh back to my spoilt handphone, I really felt.it was a blessing in disguised because now I bought a new one yuhooooo. I bought an android and now I van update my blog from anywhere wuhooooo. So hopefully I can brush up again my writing skill he he. Well it is just merely playing around with words but words do make people happy, sad or.even angry and it is true when people said that tounge are mightier (are there such word) than swords. Kay better stop now for my subuh prayer.

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For the rest of my life

Yesterday while cycling I listened to the songs in my handphone and there is one song by Maher Zain For the rest of my life

And there's a couple words I want to say
For the rest of my life
I'll be with you
I'll stay by your side honest and true
Till the end of my time
I'll be loving you. loving you
For the rest of my life
Thru days and night
I'll thank Allah for open my eyes
Now and forever I I'll be there for you
I know that deep in my heart
I feel so blessed when I think of you
And I ask Allah to bless all we do
You're my wife and my friend and my strength
And I pray we're together eternally
Now I find myself so strong
Everything changed when you came along

than it hits me these were the words my late husband use to say to me. he always say that I am a blessing for him. Thank god I stayed with him and supporting him until his last breath, Alhamdulillah. He use to call me his fourth baby the biggest baby in the house he he. I still remember on his last few hour his looks as if his getting better, he even teased me in front of his family he love to do that, may be because he love to see me smile in embarrassment. I am glad I was with him for the rest of his life, yes I was with him for the rest of his life. Alhamdulillah.

something

I've been staring at my lap top, typing and deleting. What should I write, so many things had happened and I don't know where to start. Should I write about work, or should I write about food instead. Hmm suddenly am feeling hungry he he, but I just ate Oh!. I've managed to lost 25 kg in 8 months. I control what I eat and exercise regularly. There is no short cut in losing weight I would say, because I've tried taking diet pills, diet drinks all fail, this is due to my failure to discipline myself . Eh but controlling intake of food and exercise need more discipline you might ask. Yes it does but somehow I managed to do it regularly and maintain it for 8 months. A big cheer for me yeaaaaaah. I do feel happier, and I guest I look younger ( he he you can disagree with me its a free world) ok, ok I feel younger, satisfied. when I weight 105 kg, yes I use to be very heavy, Obese. I always felt very tired, not active always sleepy. Now I am more energise, still heavy I am 80 kg now but lighter then before. My aim is to lose another 5 kg. I can do it, I know I can, I know I can tooot tooooot.

padang bulan

No matter how I want to sit down and write I will always find a reason not to, arghhhhh. Today I am determine, at least write something, anything, I have to start writing again. So being guilty for abandoning my passion I want to write about a book I've read, written by Andrea Hirata. I love his writing, love the way he plays around with words, how I wish I could write like him.

Andrea Hirata author of Lasykar pelangi had come with a new book entitled Padang bulan and cinta dalam gelas. He still maintain his cheekiness ( is there such word he he) in writing. A story about a women against all odds surviving after the death of her father. "Ajar aku benda yang paling sukar dan aku akan belajar"( teach me the hardest lesson and I will learn) is her moto in life. Ops! my class had started have to go.

Matter of the heart

Its been quite a long time since I last write in this blog. I do miss writing though, but just can't find the time to sit quietly and write. My house is no longer empty, My sister and her 2 kids and my mom are staying with me now ( guess i've told you about this he he, well I tend to repeat myself, may be it's a teacher thing). I also had the chance to visit Vietnam ( baby steps, baby steps....., like my late husband use to say slowly,slowly kill the monkey. I still don't have any idea why monkey not chicken or fish). My friends planned to go to Perth but I just cannot say anything about this because I have to ask my purse, hu hu sob, sob hope she says ok he he.

The kids are going strong Amir will be sitting for UPSR this year hope he can get good result, Aisyah is 14 now and not very easy to deal with. Omar still mama's boy he he cling to me like baby monkey cling to his mom... ooo I guess that is why my late husband say slowly,slowly kill the monkey he he. I am still , missing him. Still wish I could listen to his laughter, I even miss his cough ( he do cough a lot due to his illness).

As for myself I am also still going strong, no longer the library teacher, phew what a relieved, such a big reponsibility for my to handle. I am a class teacher, Police Cadet Cor teacher, Physics coordinator, physics lab coordinator, Sports clup teacher, and a few more I don't remember and don't want to remember because it would only remind me of the things I have not done.

Met old friends and some make some new friends and one of them is really close to my heart. However I don't think I can be with him.....

I hope 2011 bring more new experience. I welcome 2011 with an open arm and open heart. Eh am I too late, I guess it's better late then never.