Thank you

1430 hijrah is tomorrow, so I wishing to all my muslim friends Happy new year. 2009 is also just round the corner, Many things I wished I could change this year, but it is all Allah's will and who am I to question anything that had happened moreover to change it. All I can do, is to try my best to make 2009 and 1430 better than this year and hopefully I can be strong for my children Insyaallah.

Next year my Aisyah is going to sit for her UPSR exam and also Omar is entering formal school for the first time. My friends I would like to thank you a thousand thanks for all your support, just by knowing you were there to read my words give me strengh. Eventhough I didn't write as often as I want to, you never fail to respond to me, so once again thank you.

Stairways to heaven

My Late husband's guitar, actually it was his nephew's. He use to play Stairways to heaven the song you are listening to right now. This is one of his favourite. Listening to this song makes me smile.

What we did last Adha

We went balik kampung on saturday and stay there until wednesday.
The boys at my uncle's house, playing together

On Adha morning my uncle took my children to the Qurban perdana at Kg Parit Bulat Muar. The kids came home with so many questions. Aisyah asked me why do we killed the cows. I have to give a very long explaination started from the Phrophet Ibrahim's story.
One of the cows , seven cows for qurban this year

Cow whisperer

This might be disturbing for some. This picture is taken by Aisyah

I also explained that the animal for qurban is the animal that we loved the most. After that Omar said If we qurban animal that we loved than he should qurban the cats because he loved cats ( my grandmother's house had 4 cats and the kids loved it). The question make me laugh and at the same time a bit scared. The question is so innocent, I explained to him that only cows, goat or sheep and camel can be qurban ( before I went back to Klang I had to check the cats, just in case if any of it is missing, Omar and Amir had some history of trying to qurban a few animals, he he).

Milo the children favourite cat


In the evening I took the kids and my cousins to the hot spring (my kampung had a hot spring not very far from my grandmother's house). The kids really enjoyed themselves, as for me I just dip my feet in the pool. The entrance to the hot spring, Kolam Air Panas Sungai Resik Muar



hot spring pool

Omar showing off his swimming skill in the children pool and the water is cold.

By the way my mother is coming back from mecca after performing her hajj this coming sunday. Alhamdulillah, when I called her, she in a good health.
My mother, her sister and her brother in law before they fly off to madina

school holiday

This school holiday I was quite busy sending the kids to my sister's house because I enrolled them for a holiday school program near my sister's house. The kids do enjoy the the program because they get to do some experiments and also they get to do arts. For two weeks now we slept at my sister's from Monday to Thursday. My sister love to have us there I presumed because her husband is always not at home, out station.

Another thing, It's either chicken pox or measles Omar caught one, he got spots all over his body. Luckily he only suffers for 4 days, the spot is subsiding now but the virus had infected Aisyah. Aisyah's case is a bit worst the spot is more and bigger and it hurts even when she bathed. The doctor told me when older person caught the disease it is worst compared to younger children. I ask the doctor for an antiviral so she can get better faster and she should suffer less. The spots on Aisyah's body is subsiding some are no longer visible but the sopts on her face is still the same .

Tomorrow we are going back to our kampung in Muar Johor to celebrate Aidil Adha. My Uncle told me there are going to be a Kurban Perdana there and he is willing to take the boys there. The boys is going to have a lifetime experience.

So to my muslim friends I wish you Selamat Hari Raya Aidil Adha

He is standing at the window

There was a little boy visiting his grandparents on their farm. He was given a slingshot to play with, out in the woods. He practiced in the woods, but he could never hit the target. Getting a little discouraged, he headed back for dinner. As he was walking back he saw Grandma's pet duck. Just out of impulse, he let the slingshot fly, hit the duck square in the head and killed it. He was shocked and grieved! In panic, he hid the dead duck under the wood pile, only to see his sister watching! Fatima had seen it all, but she said nothing. After lunch the next day Grandma said, ' Fatima , let's wash the dishes.' But Fatima said, 'Grandma, Ahmed told me he wanted to help in the kitchen.' Then she whispered to him, 'Remember the duck?' So Ahmed did the dishes.

Later that day, Grandpa asked if the children wanted to go fishing and Grandma said, 'I'm sorry but I need Fatima to help make supper.' Fatima just smiled and said, 'Well, that's all right because Ahmed told me he wanted to help.' She whispered again, 'Remember the duck?' So Fatima went fishing and Ahmed stayed to help. After several days of Ahmed doing both his chores and Fatima 's, he finally couldn't stand it any longer. He came to Grandma and confessed that he had killed the duck. Grandma knelt down, gave him a hug and said, 'Sweetheart, I know. You see, I was standing at the window and I saw the whole thing, but because I love you, I forgave you. I was just wondering how long you would let Fatima make a slave of you.'

Thought for the day and every day thereafter? Whatever is in your past, whatever you have done... and the devil keeps throwing it up in your face (lying, cheating, debt, fear, bad habits, hatred, anger, bitterness, etc.)...whatever it is...You need to know that Allah was standing at the window and He saw the whole thing. He has seen your whole life. He wants you to know that He loves you and that you are forgiven. He's just wondering how long you will let the devil make a slave of you. The great thing about Allah is that when you ask for forgiveness, He not only forgives you, but He loves you. It is by Allah's grace and mercy that we are saved.

( received from my alumni group)

Yassin for abang

Today is my birthday, I received many birthday wishes, thanks to my friends who had send me birthday wishes through mail and sms. My late husband's birthday was 2 days earlier. We are not good with remembering birthdays, so i guess that is why Allah make our birth date not very far apart . We always forgot our anniversary but not our birthdays. When I told the kids about their father's birth date they were happy at first but than Omar ask me what should we do than. I told them we are going to pray together and read yassin for abah. They obliged.

Usually on our birthday we would buy cake, enjoy it among ourselves and give some to the neighbours. So today I will contimue the tradition, I want the kids to feel nothing had change, that eventhough their father is no longer with us we will still celebrate his birthday but with something extra yassin and prayers for abah. However there is something I miss very much, that is on my birthday exactly at midnight my late husband would wish happy birthday and give me a kiss.

Back to school

I have started working last week. When I went to report for duty the ministry ask me ,where I wanted to go,the choice are either to teacher's collage or back to school. I had given it a deep thougt, I want to go back to my old schoool, so they send me back to my old school SMK(P) Bukit Kuda Klang.

It nice to meet old friends, they have been supporting me during my worst period and now they are accepting me with their hand wide open with warm hugs.

When I report back to my old school they ask me to replace a teacher who are on a maternity leave, so I have to go to the afternoon session. I started work at 12.50 and finished at 6.30 but next year I have to go back to the morning session and I'll be teaching physics again. My adminstrator had ask me to be the library teacher so for next year I am going to start at 7.30 and going back at 3.00.

Amir and Aisyah had to stop going to school because there is no transportation for them and since their exam had finished so they had an early holiday. I am processing their school transfer, so next year I don't have to worry about transportation because the new school is only a walking distance from our house.

Next week is the last week of school, after that there will be a long break. So I am wishing Happy holiday to all the teachers and students.

what's going on

Is anyone facing a same problem as mine. my dashboard is not its regular self. I cannot upload any photos to my blog. hmm. what should i do than. before this I write my post using scribefire which is easier than going to my dashboard but I cannot upload any photo but here still I cannot upload any photo. what is going on here

Connected, disconected

A friend of mine is very frustrated with her mobile line provider for charging her RM900 for internet usage. Wow that is outrages. Most mobile line provider change 10 cents /10 kilobytes for transfered data but I never know it can reach up to RM 900 and I know she never subscribe to any paid sites. Actually I do get tired with my broadband line provider. For nearly one week I cannot  access the internet due to some problem they are facing. If I want any uninterrupted surfing I have to do it on weekdays and during the day. Sometimes even on weekdays I often get disconnected. 

I've tried two other mobile broadband lines before , one is RM99 and the other is RM68 permonth unlimited usage but I'm not satisfied with the speed. The RM99 is using EDGE which is a bit faster than GPRS but I can even sleep during downloading and after I wake up the process is still haven't completed. The RM 68 is using 3G but there is no 3G coverage in my area so I end up using GPRS which is even slower than RM99. One more problem I was using my handphone as a modem so when I wanted to get connected to the internet and as a solution I bought another handphone.

After that I came discovered the mobile broadband I am using now their charge is RM78 monthly and the usage is up to 5 Gig, they even give out a USB broadband modem, the speed is reasonable.

May be some of you are thinking why didn't she use fixed line or streamyx, why opt for mobile broadband. I had apllied to install fixed line at my house but my application is not aproved because  they said the line is full. What does they mean by that, it means they have to put another phone poll just for me and they didn't want to do it. so end of story.

Do any of you knows better option for me.
 

Arggh

Tomorrow I'm going to sit for my physic`s simulation paper. It is the last paper for my course I'm 3/4 finished, now I have to concentrate on my project paper.

 We are supposed to submit our first draft  tomorrow but my paper is completed up to the first three chapters, 2 more chapters to go. So I doubt that I would graduate this coming convo, in other word I have to extend another semester.

The biggest problem is, I haven't test my module to my samples which are the form four students so I have no data to work on.

I have to report back to work on the 28th October, hmmm that is another 2 weeks. Oh oh.

Lucky for me the students are still in school until mid november so I still have time to gather my data. However there is one big problem, because the students had finished their exam and 3/4 of them won't be coming to school and I might not have enough sample.

So I praying very hard that everything will go my way, Insyaallah. Who knows with all the odds I can still manage to submit my final draft before the date line which is before the 3rd november.

Pink Floyd Reunion-Wish You Were Here

My late husband's favourite song. He used to sing this song on his guitar

my story

Hmm it's been a month since  my last posting. It is not that I don't want to share my stories with my beloved friends, you had supported me all this time. I do visit your blog eventhough I seldom leave any mark.

It's been two months after my husband's death. I miss him even more compared to before, my subconscious mind now realise  that he is not coming back. 

Today is the tenth of Hari Raya and I would like to take this opportunity to wish Selamat Hari Raya to all my friends and I also would like to ask for your fogiveness for all the mistakes I and my late husband had done.

I am going back to school end of this month, however my project is still not complete and most probably I will extend for another semester, and I hope all of you will pray for me so that I am able to finish my studies.

I use to be an ambituos person, I want to get my masters and PHD but now no more. My late husband was my supporter he make me think I can fly high and if anything happen I knew he will always be there to catch me ,now I am crippled.

Now my focus is on my children, I want to always be there for them. I am busy trying to sort out our life, planning where to send my kids next year , I can't afford to hire a maid. I also have to make sure we can survive financially. I need to change the kids school which is nearer to our house so it is easier for me to send them and the transportation fees is cheaper.

My husband contributed to Perkeso however his previous employer does not make any payment and contibution and my late husband  does not check it out. and when I went to claim for his pension I couldn't claim any thing because his payment was short by two month. So I would like to remind to you for those who is a member of Perkeso please make sure that your employer make payment and contribution otherwise you'll end up like me, you can check the details in here.

So this me story for now hope you'll stay with me and I really appreciate it

The kids

Thank you to all my friends for your prayers and supports. It's nearly a month since my husband's death, me and the children are still going strong insyaallah. They listen to me more, compared to when their father was still around. I guess they don't want to lose their mother too.

Aisyah did not show her feeling much but I notice she easily gets irritated with her brother especially Amir. They quarrel a lot. Aisyah never talk to me about her late father and when I ask she'll answer me in a word or two.

Amir is more open, he told me that, it seems that he can still see his father sitting in his favourite chair when he came home from school and he also told me that he feels that something is missing in his life but couldn't figure out what is missing. He helps me a lot in our everyday chores.

As for Omar may be he is still small to understand but when at first I ask him, did he missed his father he said " tak nak, tak best "(he don't want to think about it, it is not pleasant). After a few day he draw me crying, his brother and sister and his father lying in Kafan. When I ask him why did he draw like that he said " kan abah dah meninggal" ( because abah had passed away).

Ramadan is here, hopefully we can complete our ibadah and may allah blessed my husband's soul.

To all my muslim friends "Salam Ramadan"

His time had came

On 9 August at 3.00 am my beloved husband was taken from me after 12 years sharing our life together. Alhamdulillah I was on his side when he took his last breath. It was painful to saw the doctor tried to retrived him and I stood there, cannot do anything. He was my right hand and now he was gone. Sometimes I feel like giving him a call just to hear his voice and to make sure his ok. Everything is Allah's will, nothing I can do to stop it from happening I realise that.

I always said that I have to be strong for my children but the truth is, it is them who gave me strength. I still don't have the courage to sleep alone, I woke up in the middle of the night looking for him hoping that it is all a bad dream. I still keep all his things in order just like when he is still alive. My mother asked me to give away all his cloth to the needy but I still keep his cloth all press up hang nicely in the cupboard.

May Allah gave me courage and i hope I can be a good mother and father to my children. Yesterday Amir ask me why did he always remembered his father in all the things he did. I told him abah is watching him and ask him to be a good son and always pray for abah. He cried when his father was taken to the mosque, I know he tried not to cry because after I broke the new to him and Aisyah he wipe his eyes a few times but did not shed any tears.

Not my day

This last few days, actually for the past 3 weeks i've been coughing, I've went to see not only one but three doctors but my condition is still the same , hmm and I think it gone worse. From only coughing now I have running nose, block nose, my face all swollen and aching. The first doctor I met gave me antibiotic which does not agree with me so I got gastritis and diarrhea. So I went to see another doctor who gave me medication for my gastritis and diarrhea but no medicine for my cough and he ask me o stop my antibiotic. my stomach was better but my cough got worse, now with running nose.

The worse thing is my husband is infected by my illness and whenever he got respiratory infection his lung is filled with phlegm and he will have difficulty breathing. As long as i am still coughing he will be repeatedly infected, this I know because within this 3 weeks he have been recovering and got infected again. The last doctor I met, said my illness is not life threatening, I already know that, he is more concern with my husband because in my case it is the infection of the upper respiratory track whereas in my husband case it will go straight to his lung. But I don't think the doctor understand this , if they did not cure me my husband won't get better. His immune system is weak and is very sensitive to respiratory infection.

Now as i am typing, I am coughing, blowing my nose, my throat sore, my body aching but I am not near my husband that is one good thing. My husband is recovering, he can breath more easily now but I am coming home this evening so the episode will start again.

Hmm I am going to buy green tea on my way back.

LAMAN 2008 -MALAYSIA'S LANDSCAPE EXHBITION

Last sunday I went to Malaysia's Landscape exhibition -LAMAN 2008 . The exhibition is on from 19-27 August at Perdana Lake Kuala Lumpur. Some of the exhibitors are from states municipal from all over malaysia. Here are some of it.

These are from Hliza's home town MelakaTranslation of the rhyme
Merchant's Ship from abroad
Fully loaded with meranti timber
From far you came
People of Melaka awaits


Lemang and dodol, is it hari raya already?


The traditional melaka house

Now from my home town Johor

Kuda Kepang , Johor trademark

There are also fruit stalls, as you can see here rambutans, mangosteens and dragon fruits


From the northen state Kedah, they even brought paddy plant

Landscape from Kedah

When I was about to go, I met an oldfriends from my varsity years. Gee, she still looking young her husband rosli aka badak (sorry ye) gain a few pounds.

So for those who don't know where to go for the next weekends I would suggest you to go to LAMAN 2008 ,who knows you might find something you like or even meet an oldfriend.

yesterday

Morning

Yesterday morning when I went to Omar's school to pick him up I decided to bring along my camera. Yes I bought a camera. These are the pictures I caught , it may not be a masterpiece but just glance through and if possible , please tell which is your favourite

Sorry I don't know what type of flower this is.




Buah nona or sugar apple scientific name Annona squamosa in front of my neighbour's house.


Mata kucing a type of longan but it is smaller than longan, also planted at my neighbour's house compuond, but this is a different neighbour.

Evening

In the evening it is Amir's turn. So again I brought along the camera


Hliza this is " Klang's" cloud


Gate at Amir's school

A bench under the tree

The school's field

Finally he quits

Finally my other half quit smoking. He's been smoking since he is 13 and now after 33 years of puffing the cigarette he quits. Thank god.

He suffers from bronchieatasis since he is small so smoking is actually a big no for him. He is always coughing with phlegm and to clear the phlegm I have to do postural drainage everyday but most of the time he refused.

Once, after we were married for two years he cough and vomit out blood. I was very panic and drove him to the nearest hospital and cried while I was driving but do you want to know what my half was doing. He smoked, at that time I really want to smack his head to the steering wheel. How can he smoke after coughing out blood. So when we finally reached the hospital and the doctor came and see us, to my surprise the was no panic sign from the doctor. What happened, is coughing out blood normal. To me nothing is normal about that, blood should be inside our body inside our vein it is not suppose to go out. But actually it is a normal thing with people with bronchiectasis, it will happen when the sufferer got a bacterial infection and there seems to be a tear of small blood vessels. The doctor prescribe him antibiotic and other medication, a week later he is fine.

His left lung is shrinking and now he actually have his right lung to depend on. So just imagine how relieved I am when he quit smoking. Now it's been nearly a month he did not touch any cigarette or cigar.

From my reading, human lung will reduced its efficiency as we grew older, now my half is 46 and there will be time where he will have problem in doing simple chores like walking will make him very tired struggling to breath. I hope we will be strong to face it. Insyaallah

Amir's turn

Last sunday Amir and Aisyah enter another sparring competition. Amir is entering the competition for the first time whereas for Aisyah it is her third times. This time it is Amir's turn to shine, for the first time he won something. He manage to get bronze and he is very happy and he is skipping all the way home, literally skipping.

Winning this competition sure boost his confidence, it make him feel good and proud with himself.




Amir in blue jacket
Before the second round fight
Amir is smiling ears to ears

Childhood friends

Last Friday, I had a small reunion with my childhood friends. Guess I can say that because I've known them when I was 13 , my friends Oja and Fizah.

It's nice to meet with old friends and at the same time it felt weird because I was expecting to see an 18 years old boy and suddenly a 36 years old matured man standing in front of me.


For all the single ladies out there, here is an eligible bachelor, financially stable, a good muslim with a quality of a good husband and father.


When everybody is aging, for Fizah the process seems to reversed, she is slimmer, more radiant and she even look younger too.

Oja with Fizah and my children. Hope the children will continue the good friendship

So how about you, missing any oldfriends lately.?

Batik anyone

Last sunday we had an art activity, batik colouring. I never knew batik colouring is so much fun.

The artists with their masterpiecesOmar with his spongebob squarepants

For someone with a very short attention span, I am impress with Amir's focus when colouring his flower


Aisyah with her masterpiece

DURIAN SEASON AGAIN - GET READY TO PUT ON A FEW POUNDS!!!

Pictures to make you lau nuah!

The Penangites are connorsieurs & take their durians very seriously. Enjoy!
Thanks kak Zaiton USM Alumni

Yah Kang (Centipede Durian)
Although its flesh is whitish, the taste is superb, milky, like very sweet, melting chocolate. The name 'yah kang' means centipede, and accounts for the number of centipedes found at the foot of the tree, hence giving it the rather unusual name.


Xiao Hung (Little Red Durian)
Xiao Hung, whose name means 'Little Red One,' originates in Sungai Pinang, Balik Pulau. The flesh has a bittersweet taste to it, with a touch of sourness. There are only one or two seeds per section, but the flesh is thick.


Khun Poh
This durian takes the name of the late Mr Lau Khun Poh, who first budded it. Khun Poh has beautiful orangy flesh with a slightly bitter-sweet taste and a heavy aroma.

Ooi Kyau (Tumeric Durian) The name Ooi flesh of this durian. It is very sweet and tasty Kyau (tumeric) describes the colour of the bright yellow.

Hor Loh (Water Gourd Durian)
The flesh of the Hor Loh is very soft, dry and quite bitter. It has a sharp smell to it. Hor Loh was first cultivated at the Brown Estate of Sungai Ara. It got its name from its appearance resembling a 'Hor Lor' pumpkin. If the durian hits the ground hard when it falls, the flesh tends to be bitter thereafter

D604
The D604 was first cultivated by the late Mr. Teh Hew Hong of Sungai Pinang, Balik Pulau. The flesh is quite sweet, and has some 'body' to it as the seed is small
D600
This durian originates in Sungai Pinang in Balik Pulau. The flesh has a bittersweet taste to it, with a touch of sourness. This one is a bit hard.
D11
'Number Eleven' is a very popular durian in the 70's. It has creamy yellow flesh with a pleasant taste and a subtle smell
Coupling
This durian is gets its unusual name because it looks like two durians joined together, one big and one small. When split open, you almost thought the two halves belong to two different durians. Coupling has whitish flesh which is slightly dry but tastes good
Chaer Phoy (Green Skin Durian)
Chaer Phoy is shaped like a small canteloupe. The skin is bright green, giving it the name which means 'green skin'. Chaer Phoy has creamy white flesh which is a bit dry, not too sweet but tasty
Ang Sim (Red Heart)
Ang Sim is a durian with flesh which is quite soft and very sweet, and dark yellow in colour. It also has a nice aroma
Ang Jin (Red Yoke Durian)
As the name suggests, Ang Jin Durian has deep orange flesh. It is very sweet and tasty